I Like the Shape

Dear Denison:

LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS

It seems that an alarming number of Denison students are either blissfully unaware of this simple truth or else remain unfazed in their determination to leave EVEN LESS to the imagination when they dress themselves in the morning.

Let me explain myself. I am by no means opposed to leggings as garments. They are wonderfully versatile articles of clothing that afford the owner a wide variety of possibilities, both fashionable and utilitarian. That said, they are meant to play a supplementary role in the overall wardrobe. For example, leggings can be worn under athletic shorts when exercising in the winter, or under a skirt on a brisk day. They can even be worn as part of a dressy ensemble if you have a formal obligation, but are concerned about low temperatures.

The only time it is acceptable to wear leggings alone (that I can think of) is when involved in some kind of dance rehearsal or performance. Exceptions can also be made for small children, who have naturally had fewer opportunities to hone their young sense of what is and is not socially acceptable.

In conclusion, the exact shape of your ass is kind of like a secret, and you probably shouldn’t be sharing it with everyone. Think of leggings as the clothing equivalent of a sidekick. Would you send Robin to fight crime without Batman? Would you send Clark to explore the Louisiana Territory without Lewis? Or tell Cheney to run the White House without Dubya? (oops). If you answered no to these two questions, don’t go to class half dressed. If you answered yes to either of them, you are clearly stubborn enough to be beyond all aid.


Nicco Pandolfi