So I saw Karl Rove tonight/last night. And while I’m sure there will be a slurry of submissions about the famed political strategist, he spoke after 6:30 so no one could submit anything so I get the upper hand! The evening began with theatrics galore, an enshrouded Mr. Rove emerging from a pit of fire and fog in the middle of the stage. Oddly enough, I noticed what a soft, marshmallowy, piglety type of creature he was. Until he ate an iguana tail first. After that it was pretty much down to business. I’m one of those audience members who think he talked a lot, but didn’t say very much. I did enjoy hearing him mention that Democrats and Republicans alike should address the issues they aren’t comfortable addressing, and should do so with "passion, fluency, and conviction." And, if nothing else, that putrid mass of infinite evil has those three qualities going for him. While I vehemently oppose most, if not everything, the man does and has done, he (it?) is a talented speaker and brilliant strategist. It cannot be denied. I’m reminded of that old saying, "You can’t polish a turd." Well, this guy polished George W. Bush, one of the biggest turds there will ever be. There’s something to be said for that.
Stray thoughts while watching Mr. Rove:
-"Why does he need two water bottles? And why isn’t he drinking them?"
-"Toby Jones should play him in a movie!"
-"Las Vegas isn’t one of your favorite parts of the world? How can you live with yourself, sir?"
-"Hm, you’re probably right. Creating a stimulus based on false premises is a bad idea. False premises should be reserved to base wars."
-"Goddamn right we should be applauding the National Endowment for the Arts."
-"Hey! He just mentioned Democratic Peace Theory! I know what that is!"
-"Actually, I did really hate Hitler’s mustache and bad painting. Have you seen those paintings? They’re terrible. No wonder the man was so angry. Ugh, and that mustache..."
-"Hehe, he just said ‘my nutty buddy’."
-"OH MY GOD WE GET IT YOU HAVE A WEBSITE."
-"OH MY GOD WE GET IT YOU’RE WRITING A BOOK."
-"OH MY GOD WHERE DID YOU GROW UP YOUR ACCENT IS ADORABLE."
-"Seriously, Flocken? You’re gonna stand in front of the dude’s camera? He already has it tough enough. Just look at that mustache. I hate him so much..."
-"Wait. Let me get this straight. You said the Republicans are ‘the party that believes the little guy should get the same break the big guy gets.’ ... That is by far the most outrageous thing you did all evening. And I saw you eat that iguana."
- Nick Bailey, Senior Editor
Friday, April 17, 2009
Someone not from Denison reads the Bullsheet (when his friend tells him to)!
I would like to start off this response with two disclaimers. One, I am not a student at Denison University, and as such have absolutely no experience regarding the demands made by the BSU or any of the issues that led up to this occurrence. All I know about it is what was published on the Bullsheet and that which was told to me by a friend.
Two, I am an atheist. This is in fact highly relevant. The initial article regarding the BSU’s budget demands makes it very clear to me that they believe the FC had ulterior motives for denying the BSU funding this year. As a group comprised entirely of a minority, it therefore stands to reason that if ulterior motive is suspected, a reasonable opinion would be discrimination against said minority.
So before anyone tries to play the race card on me, I would have it known that I belong to the most distrusted group in the entire United States.
Now then, to the issue. I will not be dealing with the BSU’s demands, because, as previously established, they do not concern me. However, I have to say that the reaction to the satirical response that he published leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Let’s examine them each individually, shall we?
Mr. Jack Hundley:
You quoted the infamous penny arcade comic dealing with anonymity (it was in fact your response that caused me to ask Linus to publish this under my own name), and added to it the claim "Real men claim their farts". I have little to say to this, because refutation of your argument is surprisingly brief.
Linus has described to me (though I have no doubt that it is a biased account) the actions taken against him by the BSU. While they are not perhaps out of line seeking a public apology (Though I do not believe that they deserve one, as the articles in question were both clearly satirical in nature), they are absolutely crossing the line in seeking anything further. As such, I feel the need to ask you this: Is it wrong to seek protection for your identity when you fully expect a reactionary response that poses a clear threat to yourself?
I say no, it is not wrong to do so. The fact that students were in fact willing to blow this out of proportion, and go to the lengths required to look up Mr. William’s real name based on his mailbox suggests that they are going to seek vengeance, and it is therefore absolutely justified to seek identity protection.
The second article warrants a slightly longer response, though it actually contains even less intelligent content, though some may find that difficult to believe.
Mr. Lewis Clark:
To begin, I suggest you familiarize yourself with the two logical fallacies known as "Argumentum Ad Hominem" and "Appeal to Ridicule". Knowing those two fallacies could have prevented the atrocity that was your response.
You seem to have intrinsically linked age and maturity, despite the very clear counterexample to the contrary. You yourself apparently possess age, but not maturity, as you are willing to stoop to personal attacks in order to try and win an argument.
Since we’re discussing logical fallacies at the moment, you should know that saying "age constitutes. Linus Williams lacks age, therefore, he lacks maturity" (a summary of your argument) is fallacious on two counts. One, it is a generalization, and it only takes a single example of someone who does not fit the generalization for it to be declared invalid, and, based off of your article, I can only conclude that you yourself are proof that this generalization is made in error.
Two, this takes the form of the fallacious argument known as "Denying the antecedent". If you define age as claim A, and maturity as claim M, this would be denoted as
M->A (M is dependent on A being true)
~A (Not A)
Therefore, ~M (Not M)
To give another example of an argument that takes the form of "denying the antecedent", I have provided a handy-dandy one below, as I understand that it can sometimes be difficult to see why these arguments are invalid (Courtesy of Wikipedia).
If Queen Elizabeth is an American citizen, then she is a human being.
Queen Elizabeth is not an American citizen.
Therefore, Queen Elizabeth is not a human being.
If you think that that is a valid argument, however, I have nothing further to say to you, as you are not intelligent enough to warrant my time. Denying the Antecedent is an invalid argument form because it does not justify the premise "M is dependent on A", but continues and bases the entire argument off of an unfounded premise. Therefore, in order for this to be a logically sound argument (although it requires rephrasing to be valid, even still), one must prove the premise to be true - This ties back into the generalization upon which the argument is based. I have already shown how the generalization is not a valid one, the argument is therefore neither sound nor valid.
Now that the mini-critical thinking lesson is over with, we can look at the rest of the response. Clark repeatedly makes negative aspirations regarding the character of Williams as a means of discrediting him, and thus, his argument. This shows that he cannot, therefore, refute the argument itself, and therefore must result to petty and immature tactics. He compounds this by ridiculing Williams, suggesting that he be "spanked by his mother".
It’s also curious that Clark associates some things that are widely regarded as being the most unsafe legal practices in the United States as being tied with maturity. Porn is highly addictive and has a strong negative impact on your social life. Tobacco is linked with a great many serious health concerns, as is Alcohol. As for driving, every time you get into a car you are running (relatively speaking) a huge risk of serious injury to yourself and others. Yet you make it sound like being able to access these things makes you more mature, which somehow correlates to being more capable of making a good argument.
I feel the need to ask, Mr. Clark, do you really have such a high opinion of yourself that you thought you could spout bullshit such as this and not have someone call you out on it?
As a final statement to everyone, I find it highly suspect that nobody has yet been able to field a response regarding the serious article that was published, and instead target the satirical one. This suggests to me that either a)no-one replying possesses the intelligence or writing ability to field a response, or b) they cannot find any flaws to which they can respond. Just a little food for thought.
Sincerely, G. S. Elmore, of Berry College
fuzzybaconpants@gmail.com
Two, I am an atheist. This is in fact highly relevant. The initial article regarding the BSU’s budget demands makes it very clear to me that they believe the FC had ulterior motives for denying the BSU funding this year. As a group comprised entirely of a minority, it therefore stands to reason that if ulterior motive is suspected, a reasonable opinion would be discrimination against said minority.
So before anyone tries to play the race card on me, I would have it known that I belong to the most distrusted group in the entire United States.
Now then, to the issue. I will not be dealing with the BSU’s demands, because, as previously established, they do not concern me. However, I have to say that the reaction to the satirical response that he published leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Let’s examine them each individually, shall we?
Mr. Jack Hundley:
You quoted the infamous penny arcade comic dealing with anonymity (it was in fact your response that caused me to ask Linus to publish this under my own name), and added to it the claim "Real men claim their farts". I have little to say to this, because refutation of your argument is surprisingly brief.
Linus has described to me (though I have no doubt that it is a biased account) the actions taken against him by the BSU. While they are not perhaps out of line seeking a public apology (Though I do not believe that they deserve one, as the articles in question were both clearly satirical in nature), they are absolutely crossing the line in seeking anything further. As such, I feel the need to ask you this: Is it wrong to seek protection for your identity when you fully expect a reactionary response that poses a clear threat to yourself?
I say no, it is not wrong to do so. The fact that students were in fact willing to blow this out of proportion, and go to the lengths required to look up Mr. William’s real name based on his mailbox suggests that they are going to seek vengeance, and it is therefore absolutely justified to seek identity protection.
The second article warrants a slightly longer response, though it actually contains even less intelligent content, though some may find that difficult to believe.
Mr. Lewis Clark:
To begin, I suggest you familiarize yourself with the two logical fallacies known as "Argumentum Ad Hominem" and "Appeal to Ridicule". Knowing those two fallacies could have prevented the atrocity that was your response.
You seem to have intrinsically linked age and maturity, despite the very clear counterexample to the contrary. You yourself apparently possess age, but not maturity, as you are willing to stoop to personal attacks in order to try and win an argument.
Since we’re discussing logical fallacies at the moment, you should know that saying "age constitutes. Linus Williams lacks age, therefore, he lacks maturity" (a summary of your argument) is fallacious on two counts. One, it is a generalization, and it only takes a single example of someone who does not fit the generalization for it to be declared invalid, and, based off of your article, I can only conclude that you yourself are proof that this generalization is made in error.
Two, this takes the form of the fallacious argument known as "Denying the antecedent". If you define age as claim A, and maturity as claim M, this would be denoted as
M->A (M is dependent on A being true)
~A (Not A)
Therefore, ~M (Not M)
To give another example of an argument that takes the form of "denying the antecedent", I have provided a handy-dandy one below, as I understand that it can sometimes be difficult to see why these arguments are invalid (Courtesy of Wikipedia).
If Queen Elizabeth is an American citizen, then she is a human being.
Queen Elizabeth is not an American citizen.
Therefore, Queen Elizabeth is not a human being.
If you think that that is a valid argument, however, I have nothing further to say to you, as you are not intelligent enough to warrant my time. Denying the Antecedent is an invalid argument form because it does not justify the premise "M is dependent on A", but continues and bases the entire argument off of an unfounded premise. Therefore, in order for this to be a logically sound argument (although it requires rephrasing to be valid, even still), one must prove the premise to be true - This ties back into the generalization upon which the argument is based. I have already shown how the generalization is not a valid one, the argument is therefore neither sound nor valid.
Now that the mini-critical thinking lesson is over with, we can look at the rest of the response. Clark repeatedly makes negative aspirations regarding the character of Williams as a means of discrediting him, and thus, his argument. This shows that he cannot, therefore, refute the argument itself, and therefore must result to petty and immature tactics. He compounds this by ridiculing Williams, suggesting that he be "spanked by his mother".
It’s also curious that Clark associates some things that are widely regarded as being the most unsafe legal practices in the United States as being tied with maturity. Porn is highly addictive and has a strong negative impact on your social life. Tobacco is linked with a great many serious health concerns, as is Alcohol. As for driving, every time you get into a car you are running (relatively speaking) a huge risk of serious injury to yourself and others. Yet you make it sound like being able to access these things makes you more mature, which somehow correlates to being more capable of making a good argument.
I feel the need to ask, Mr. Clark, do you really have such a high opinion of yourself that you thought you could spout bullshit such as this and not have someone call you out on it?
As a final statement to everyone, I find it highly suspect that nobody has yet been able to field a response regarding the serious article that was published, and instead target the satirical one. This suggests to me that either a)no-one replying possesses the intelligence or writing ability to field a response, or b) they cannot find any flaws to which they can respond. Just a little food for thought.
Sincerely, G. S. Elmore, of Berry College
fuzzybaconpants@gmail.com
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Dear Bobby Driscoll,
Your mean-spirited and uncalled for article in Monday’s Bullsheet upset me for a variety of reasons. For starters, I don’t think you should be lecturing anyone about the correct placement of periods— you put them at the end of questions. “The [question mark] was invented for a reason… use it.”
I kid. Anyway, question marks are just small details which you probably don’t care about—
you’re concerned with “real” people things like insulting one of the most decent guys at Denison. Your demand that Eric McChesney “stop” being Eric McChesney repulsed me not just as one of Eric’s friends, but as someone who values unique individuals.
I think you should read Walden, Bobby, especially the part about hearing a different drummer. I feel like Eric does march to his own rhythm… can you say the same thing? I suspect your drummer is like Creed’s right now— a hack Pearl Jam wannabe overusing cymbals to play on the sick prejudices of the masses. Every time you mentioned drugs and alcohol to make yourself seem like a hard-ass common man, I cringed. I hope you’re not so eager to please “real” people in “real” life.
You ought to talk to Eric sometime. He’s a kind, smart, funny, one-of-a-kind person— a refreshing break from callousness like the kind espoused by your article (and this response, sadly). I can think of few people on campus more genuinely willing to help others. During your conversation with him, you might even use your imagination!
Wait. That wouldn’t be cool. Or “real.”
Keep on truckin, you old fart,
Jack Wolfe
Class of 2010
To Jack Hundley, and the assortment of people pissed at Lord Havelock Vetinari, aka Linus Williams,
Mr. Hundley, while I approve of and applaud your use of the grand unifying law of the internet (normal person + anonymity + audience = total fuckwad, for those who don’t know), I must agree with Lewis Clark, whose name I totally thought was fake, that Linus shouldn’t get owned by the world here. Linus wasn’t anonymous, for one. Using either a name, email, or slayter box, you can find a person’s room number, year, full name, slayter box, and email on the Denison directory, which is located under the “Denison Info” tab in myDenison. I am always surprised by how few people know about this. Therefore, putting up his real slayter box # under a false name still gave you enough information to find who he really was, and he wasn’t being anonymous at all. So yes, he is “claiming his farts”. Even at 14(15?), he is showing some capacity to claim his flatulence as his own.
Additionally, Linus is yet too young to realize that he has to tuck in and hide his balls and pussy-foot around our politically and socially sensitive campus atmosphere before airing his opinions, or else risk getting put on probation for airing anything remotely close to an admission of pride in whatever Caucasian heritage he has. God forbid he think college might be the one place he can say something incendiary and have it analyzed by somebody with a sense of humor and a nose for sniffing out the principles espoused within, without having to entirely risk his job/friends/reputation. Yeah, Ok, so he even targeted a group by saying “Non-Black” instead of “White”. It was scathing satire. He was expressing his thoughts through a method more poignant than saying “I disagree with you”. Why be a dick about it, you ask? Because making fun of people tends to goad them into showing their true colors, and Linus wanted to see if the BSU was really being fair-minded about this, or was on something more akin to a self-serving defensive power-trip. They are currently in an uproar about his submission, to the point of trying to get him in disciplinary trouble, so you tell me which category they fit themselves into. It could have easily been dealt with the way Jack Hundley dealt with it, by saying, “You’re a dick, and trying to piss people off, go away”. Don’t feed the trolls if you don’t want them around.
I find it exceedingly annoying that on this campus, you’re barely even allowed to be hated anymore without someone threatening administrative action. It’s a big, fat mentality of “we’re going to be all lovey-dovey… OR ELSE!”. I guess if you’re the administration, and have a school to build the prestige of, feigning an impossible condition of total tolerance and fairness makes sense. Just keep in mind, severe oppression throughout history often occurs in the name of “love”, “peace”, “fairness” and other such abstract, malleable concepts.
Written in the name of Love, Peace, Equality, Fraternity, Happiness, and… umm… more love,
Stas Nogay, Slayter Box 8282.
P.S.
To box 8075, which the directory tells me is Miden Wood, the new editor if memory serves, your middle name is awesome. Secondly, including yesterday’s submission, your work continues to be above par, kudos. Third, That “Ignorance Tea” sounds awesome, I’d totally enjoy a fancy party where everyone is being a blatant, unjustified jackass to everyone else. Can I get an invite, too? Hehe, “Melanin Count and Countess Ball”. Fucking brilliant.
Dear Denison population,
First let me say that as the incoming president of the Denison Democrats I’m very happy Karl Rove is coming to campus and I applaud the College Republicans for bringing in such a qualified and world-renowned figure instead of another Ann Coulter-esq shock jock. Anybody studying campaign strategy (and not just American. The guy worked for the Swedish Moderates) decades from now will be seeing Rove’s name often and in bold print. And for good reason. , The man perfected what Andrew Jackson started- the smear tactic- and has had one of the most successful political careers in recent memory because of it. The man is the modern day politics’ Napoleon. But, as our good friends in the College Republicans can’t deny (government subpoenas aren’t easily forgotten, guys), Mr. Rove’s record, though incredibly impressive in a Machiavellian sense, is far from stainless. This is not to say Democratic politics is not without figures who have partaken in morally/ethically reprehensible or illegal behavior (Chicago is sketchy, we get it). But, in good natured humor, we of the Denison Democrats wish to remind our college community of Mr. Rove’s, shall we say, more interesting moments. Thus, I give you Call Karl.
- Need help outing a C.I.A. op whose husband, a member of the state department, had questioned your administrations claims regarding a Middle Eastern dictator’s supposed acquisition of African uranium? Call Karl.
- Need help defaming the military service record of opposition who had served in Vietnam by coordinating a 527 attack group based on dubious or fallacious testimony while the highlight of your candidate’s military record is favorable treatment stateside in the Texas Air National Guard? Call Karl.
- Need help convincing the American people that your candidate had nothing to do with or had any connections to above 527 when all evidence points to the contrary? Call Karl.
- Having trouble finding examples of senior White House staff guilty of conflict of interest involving personal stock holdings and policy negotiation? Call Karl.
- Considering playing a role in the firing of U.S. Attorneys on grounds of political allegiance? Does refusing to submit to a subpoena, hiding under executive privilege, and being held in the Contempt of Congress sound fun? Call Karl.
- Looking for great examples of offensive, sometimes racist, push polls and their employment in campaigning? Ever felt the urge to suggest that your opponent in your party’s own presidential primary had fathered an illegitimate black child? Call Karl.
If anyone has any questions regarding what is being alluded to or sources or wants to come up with a funny phone number for Karl, please feel to contact me at gordon_a@denison.edu.
Andrew Gordon
7602
P.S. A Fun Fact: President Bush’s nickname for Mr. Rove was “Turdblossom”. I’m not even kidding. Turdblossom .
(I stole this from the good folks at penny-arcade.com, but some of the recent
shit-slinging reminded me of it. I don't quite remember the fake name he used, so would
you mind throwing his name into the submission for me? Also, I realize it's past due for
tomorrow's sheet, so just get it in whenever :) Thanks a ton!)
Dear [Dr. whateverthefucknameyoumadeup who suggested every non-black student get together
and make their own student union],
Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Fuckwad
Real men claim their farts.
Jack Hundley
8964
Fellow readers,
After reading the Bullsheet on Tuesday, I came across a submission which brought up the
idea of having a "Non-Black Student Union." I did not find this to be a serious idea,
however, I did see it a bit out of line. I am sure a lot of students were quite offended.
But before any of you want to seek out this KID, let me enlighten everyone on who we're
dealing with here. He's a sophomore- or sophomoric- and he's roughly around the age of 14
or 15. His name is Linus Williams. He was the young scholar that we hooted for and raved
about last year in the Denisonian.
Allow me to put some things about him into perspective. He'll graduate from Denison
probably when he's 17. This means that he won't be able to legally view porn (even as a
senior), buy tobacco products, or participate in the lottery. Now let's say he wishes to
pursue a law career. Law schools typically last 3 years. So, this makes him 20- can't buy
booze (shucks). People, he can't even drive a car and it's doubtful that he has his
learner's permit yet.
My advice to you all is this: do not make threats to him or demand that he be punished
with warning/disciplinary probation for such racial remarks. Rather, send him to the
Dean's office for time out and suggest to the Dean that he calls his mother to inform her
of his actions. Then we can all hope and pray that he will get a good ole spanking with
no dessert and video games for a week.
Lewis Clark
Dear Bobby Driscoll,
Why do you care what Eric has been doing with his time abroad? So what if he’s not, as you say, “getting hammered” and therefore “having a fucking awesome time” and instead doing what is, in your view, “nothing fun”? He has been given this valuable chance to travel and study in a foreign country, and he’s going to do with it as he pleases. If your only concern with what he does with his time away from home is that you have to read about it in the Denisonian, then the solution is simple: stop reading his column.
I don’t know you; I don’t really care what you think about Eric’s style of writing. You have a right to your opinion, just as it’s your right to be able to write about it in a public forum. What bothers me enough to write back is the personal comments you made without even knowing the person whom you were insulting. I do know Eric and consider him to be one of my closest friends here. I’d like to tell you that he’s a completely genuine human being. I honestly don’t think he would write something if he didn’t truly believe it. His writing is who he is, and it is absolutely not the result of “whack ass drugs”.
Sincerely,
Katherine Damisch, Class of ‘11
Box 8805
shit-slinging reminded me of it. I don't quite remember the fake name he used, so would
you mind throwing his name into the submission for me? Also, I realize it's past due for
tomorrow's sheet, so just get it in whenever :) Thanks a ton!)
Dear [Dr. whateverthefucknameyoumadeup who suggested every non-black student get together
and make their own student union],
Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Fuckwad
Real men claim their farts.
Jack Hundley
8964
Fellow readers,
After reading the Bullsheet on Tuesday, I came across a submission which brought up the
idea of having a "Non-Black Student Union." I did not find this to be a serious idea,
however, I did see it a bit out of line. I am sure a lot of students were quite offended.
But before any of you want to seek out this KID, let me enlighten everyone on who we're
dealing with here. He's a sophomore- or sophomoric- and he's roughly around the age of 14
or 15. His name is Linus Williams. He was the young scholar that we hooted for and raved
about last year in the Denisonian.
Allow me to put some things about him into perspective. He'll graduate from Denison
probably when he's 17. This means that he won't be able to legally view porn (even as a
senior), buy tobacco products, or participate in the lottery. Now let's say he wishes to
pursue a law career. Law schools typically last 3 years. So, this makes him 20- can't buy
booze (shucks). People, he can't even drive a car and it's doubtful that he has his
learner's permit yet.
My advice to you all is this: do not make threats to him or demand that he be punished
with warning/disciplinary probation for such racial remarks. Rather, send him to the
Dean's office for time out and suggest to the Dean that he calls his mother to inform her
of his actions. Then we can all hope and pray that he will get a good ole spanking with
no dessert and video games for a week.
Lewis Clark
Dear Bobby Driscoll,
Why do you care what Eric has been doing with his time abroad? So what if he’s not, as you say, “getting hammered” and therefore “having a fucking awesome time” and instead doing what is, in your view, “nothing fun”? He has been given this valuable chance to travel and study in a foreign country, and he’s going to do with it as he pleases. If your only concern with what he does with his time away from home is that you have to read about it in the Denisonian, then the solution is simple: stop reading his column.
I don’t know you; I don’t really care what you think about Eric’s style of writing. You have a right to your opinion, just as it’s your right to be able to write about it in a public forum. What bothers me enough to write back is the personal comments you made without even knowing the person whom you were insulting. I do know Eric and consider him to be one of my closest friends here. I’d like to tell you that he’s a completely genuine human being. I honestly don’t think he would write something if he didn’t truly believe it. His writing is who he is, and it is absolutely not the result of “whack ass drugs”.
Sincerely,
Katherine Damisch, Class of ‘11
Box 8805
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Please tell me people have read, or at least taken notice of the
"Reporting From Scotland" articles in The Denisonian. If not, READ one IMMEDIATELY! Who
is this Eric McChesney character and why for the love of God does he think he's Ralph
Waldo Emerson. Dude, where did you learn to write? The period was invented for a
reason...use it. A sentence has never and will never constitute an entire paragraph. What
the hell has this kid been doing with his time abroad. Apparently nothing fun. Instead of
getting hammered, meeting people you'd otherwise never meet, and having a fucking awesome
time this kid sounds like he's standing in front of a house in Frankfurt and getting off.
We get it dude Europe is sweet, but stop making a simple hike in the Scottish foothills
seem like an epic struggle through the Himalayas.
I love the juxtaposition of his articles and Jessica Trumball's. Thanks for keeping it
real Jessica. Here's how Jessica's update starts: "A few nights ago I went to a party
that one of my friends was having at her flat. After a few drinks...". Now Eric's on the
other hand....I'm already laughing....I'll skip the opening quote (which should not go
without noting) and just get into how much of a hard-on the simple THOUGHT of Germany
gives him: "A short while ago, I spent the night in Frankfurt, and now feel as though
bright and unknown chambers of my mind have been opened and lie expectantly within me, as
if I have seen some mysterious new land from afar, touched something vast and powerful,
the lineaments of which I can just barely discern." Duuuddddddeeeeeeee relax. Its
Frankfurt NOT the long lost city of Atlantis. The only thing you're putting into those
mind chambers are some whack ass drugs that I want to get my hands on.
I could go off for hours on this kid and his articles but I'll leave you with this..."The
architecture seemed to contain all the beauty of the Fibonnaci sequence (HA!!!!), all the
harmony of the natural schisms that shatter virgin granite (WHAT?!?!?!?), as if the
architect that designed such things had derived the first causes of nature (definitely
not), had analyzed the life-forces of the world and applied those fundamental principles
of his works when constructing the habitations of men (wait you're talking about a
house??)..."
Eric McChesney meet me at Walden Pond....keep it real.
Bobby Driscoll
Class of '09
"Reporting From Scotland" articles in The Denisonian. If not, READ one IMMEDIATELY! Who
is this Eric McChesney character and why for the love of God does he think he's Ralph
Waldo Emerson. Dude, where did you learn to write? The period was invented for a
reason...use it. A sentence has never and will never constitute an entire paragraph. What
the hell has this kid been doing with his time abroad. Apparently nothing fun. Instead of
getting hammered, meeting people you'd otherwise never meet, and having a fucking awesome
time this kid sounds like he's standing in front of a house in Frankfurt and getting off.
We get it dude Europe is sweet, but stop making a simple hike in the Scottish foothills
seem like an epic struggle through the Himalayas.
I love the juxtaposition of his articles and Jessica Trumball's. Thanks for keeping it
real Jessica. Here's how Jessica's update starts: "A few nights ago I went to a party
that one of my friends was having at her flat. After a few drinks...". Now Eric's on the
other hand....I'm already laughing....I'll skip the opening quote (which should not go
without noting) and just get into how much of a hard-on the simple THOUGHT of Germany
gives him: "A short while ago, I spent the night in Frankfurt, and now feel as though
bright and unknown chambers of my mind have been opened and lie expectantly within me, as
if I have seen some mysterious new land from afar, touched something vast and powerful,
the lineaments of which I can just barely discern." Duuuddddddeeeeeeee relax. Its
Frankfurt NOT the long lost city of Atlantis. The only thing you're putting into those
mind chambers are some whack ass drugs that I want to get my hands on.
I could go off for hours on this kid and his articles but I'll leave you with this..."The
architecture seemed to contain all the beauty of the Fibonnaci sequence (HA!!!!), all the
harmony of the natural schisms that shatter virgin granite (WHAT?!?!?!?), as if the
architect that designed such things had derived the first causes of nature (definitely
not), had analyzed the life-forces of the world and applied those fundamental principles
of his works when constructing the habitations of men (wait you're talking about a
house??)..."
Eric McChesney meet me at Walden Pond....keep it real.
Bobby Driscoll
Class of '09
A serious response to the BSU's budget issues:
First off, rules are rules. Everybody has to follow the rules. BSU did not. Even
after DCGA gave them an extension, the BSU did not submit the budget. Now they are
making demands beyond the budget, such as a car for the Office of Multicultural Student
Affairs, a permanent seat on the DCGA executive board, and the resignation and
re-ordering of the Finance committee. Ryan Burandt is doing the right thing by standing
his ground, and the Administration of Denison should NOT bow to the pressure from the
BSU. You in the BSU, to put it lightly, messed up. Live with the consequences. Don't
whine, grow a backbone, live with it. This is not discrimination on the part of DCGA.
No budget = no money. It is as easy as that. You are not portraying a good image of the
BSU by making these demands, which I hope DCGA will subject to heavy scrutiny.
On to my second point. The whole concept of a "Black Student Union" is absurd and
divisive. What differentiates black students from Asian students, or from students of
Polish descent, or students of Greek descent. Culture? Surely. Black culture is as
unique as any other culture. But there should be ways to celebrate black culture without
relying on a black student union. The fact that black students have ancestors who were
slaves? Well, every culture has been slaves to another at some point during its history.
Any student who has Italian ancestors, for instance, is probably descended from slaves.
You don't see Italian students demanding reparation from Italy because of the fact that
their ancestors were slaves. Skin color obviously differentiates them, but all skin
color differences are simply due to different numbers of melanin-producing cells. Blacks
simply have more of those cells. That does not make them different from other students,
and to treat them differently (either better OR worse) is wrong.
Which brings me to my third point. Yes, discrimination is bad. It should not
happen. I am completely in agreement with that statement. But elevation of certain
groups of people is also not good, and should not happen. Either form of discrimination
(for what is elevation but the favorable treatment of one group of people in contrast to
the treatment of another group) breeds resentment. The discriminated against ALWAYS feel
wronged, and rightly so. If Denison truly wishes to make all students feel welcome, and
to more fully integrate us into the Denison community, it would abolish all favorable
treatment of any club or student organization. All Denisonians should be equal, and no
Denisonian should be more equal than other Denisonian.
Sincerely,
W.Kovacs
First off, rules are rules. Everybody has to follow the rules. BSU did not. Even
after DCGA gave them an extension, the BSU did not submit the budget. Now they are
making demands beyond the budget, such as a car for the Office of Multicultural Student
Affairs, a permanent seat on the DCGA executive board, and the resignation and
re-ordering of the Finance committee. Ryan Burandt is doing the right thing by standing
his ground, and the Administration of Denison should NOT bow to the pressure from the
BSU. You in the BSU, to put it lightly, messed up. Live with the consequences. Don't
whine, grow a backbone, live with it. This is not discrimination on the part of DCGA.
No budget = no money. It is as easy as that. You are not portraying a good image of the
BSU by making these demands, which I hope DCGA will subject to heavy scrutiny.
On to my second point. The whole concept of a "Black Student Union" is absurd and
divisive. What differentiates black students from Asian students, or from students of
Polish descent, or students of Greek descent. Culture? Surely. Black culture is as
unique as any other culture. But there should be ways to celebrate black culture without
relying on a black student union. The fact that black students have ancestors who were
slaves? Well, every culture has been slaves to another at some point during its history.
Any student who has Italian ancestors, for instance, is probably descended from slaves.
You don't see Italian students demanding reparation from Italy because of the fact that
their ancestors were slaves. Skin color obviously differentiates them, but all skin
color differences are simply due to different numbers of melanin-producing cells. Blacks
simply have more of those cells. That does not make them different from other students,
and to treat them differently (either better OR worse) is wrong.
Which brings me to my third point. Yes, discrimination is bad. It should not
happen. I am completely in agreement with that statement. But elevation of certain
groups of people is also not good, and should not happen. Either form of discrimination
(for what is elevation but the favorable treatment of one group of people in contrast to
the treatment of another group) breeds resentment. The discriminated against ALWAYS feel
wronged, and rightly so. If Denison truly wishes to make all students feel welcome, and
to more fully integrate us into the Denison community, it would abolish all favorable
treatment of any club or student organization. All Denisonians should be equal, and no
Denisonian should be more equal than other Denisonian.
Sincerely,
W.Kovacs
In my entry this past Thursday, I was very careful to leave out any personal attacks on
the BSU's character. Upon reading responses in Friday's issue, however, I believe certain
details about the BSU's actions should be brought to the public sphere for discussion.
This decision was brought about specifically by the submission by Ja'Vida, Tyra and Jamie
in which they say that the BSU has made "a steadfast commitment to benefit and support
the entire Denison community - regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, religious beliefs
or sexual orientation, etc." As Vice President of Outlook, the gay rights organization on
campus, I can say that, in my experience, this has not been the case.
*** I want to be clear that I am an individual speaking my own opinion - I do NOT
represent Outlook's stance in this submission. ***
The BSU has repeatedly - repeatedly - refused to cosponsor or participate in events with
Outlook throughout this year. For example, the BSU failed to respond to Outlook's request
for the BSU to co-sponsor the annual Red Party (a campus wide event originally started as
a collaboration between the BSU and Outlook). Outlook's question was passed around from
person to person and was never given a direct answer. Further, the BSU's Culture Jam
bumped Outlook's Red Party out of the Roost even though Outlook had made reservations
before Culture Jam had set dates. While this very well may not have been intentional on
the BSU's part, when the scheduling problem occurred, the BSU again did not respond or
try to help Outlook solve the issue. In addition to the Red Party, the BSU consistently
failed to respond to invitations Outlook extended to its members for different meetings
and events throughout the year. Through its silence, the BSU expressed its unwillingness
to associate with Outlook --behavior that is hardly indicative of an organization that
wants to "benefit and support" Denison's LGBTQA community.
*** Again, this submission is NOT to establish a hostile dialogue with the BSU or to
perpetuate any such competitive or otherwise negative exchange between organizations on
campus, but I believe it is important to note that as a leader of a minority organization
I have personally felt shunned by the BSU. ***
I also would like to take this opportunity to respond to the accusations that those of us
who strongly disagree with the BSU's actions in response to this budget situation are
"negating The Black Student Union's role on this campus", "have failed to read the
demands in full before passing judgment", and "have been brainwashed into the white,
patriarchal views of oppression that continuously faults the subtly oppressed".
In response to the first charge: both as an individual and as a leader of a minority
group, I fully recognize the significant role the BSU plays on this campus. This is why,
no matter how many times the BSU turned Outlook down, I supported trying to include the
group in our plans. I believe the BSU has a powerful, important voice in our campus
atmosphere. I wish, therefore, that the organization was spending its time trying to fix
this budget problem -- instead of presenting irrational demands and pointing fingers --
so that our campus can benefit from its presence next year.
As to the claim that I have not read the BSU's demands in full, this also is untrue. In
fact, I have read what was presented to the DCGA as well as the letter that was sent out
to the administration the following day. Reading these documents not only served to
justify my frustrations with the BSU's actions, but the words actually increased my
anger. I agree, however, that individuals should be fully informed before passing
judgment on the situation, so, readers, please try to get your hands on these documents
if you can.
Finally, in response to the accusation of being "brainwashed" and "oppressive", I have
very little to say other than how dare you dismiss my opinions by throwing the race card
in my face. I have spent a significant portion of my life fighting for equality of all
kinds - economic, racial, gender and sexual orientation based - so do not tell me that
because I find the BSU's actions irresponsible and exclusive that I am immoral and unjust.
If you would like to talk to me about anything in this submission, feel free to contact
me:
swenss_e@denison.edu
Slayter box 8904
the BSU's character. Upon reading responses in Friday's issue, however, I believe certain
details about the BSU's actions should be brought to the public sphere for discussion.
This decision was brought about specifically by the submission by Ja'Vida, Tyra and Jamie
in which they say that the BSU has made "a steadfast commitment to benefit and support
the entire Denison community - regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, religious beliefs
or sexual orientation, etc." As Vice President of Outlook, the gay rights organization on
campus, I can say that, in my experience, this has not been the case.
*** I want to be clear that I am an individual speaking my own opinion - I do NOT
represent Outlook's stance in this submission. ***
The BSU has repeatedly - repeatedly - refused to cosponsor or participate in events with
Outlook throughout this year. For example, the BSU failed to respond to Outlook's request
for the BSU to co-sponsor the annual Red Party (a campus wide event originally started as
a collaboration between the BSU and Outlook). Outlook's question was passed around from
person to person and was never given a direct answer. Further, the BSU's Culture Jam
bumped Outlook's Red Party out of the Roost even though Outlook had made reservations
before Culture Jam had set dates. While this very well may not have been intentional on
the BSU's part, when the scheduling problem occurred, the BSU again did not respond or
try to help Outlook solve the issue. In addition to the Red Party, the BSU consistently
failed to respond to invitations Outlook extended to its members for different meetings
and events throughout the year. Through its silence, the BSU expressed its unwillingness
to associate with Outlook --behavior that is hardly indicative of an organization that
wants to "benefit and support" Denison's LGBTQA community.
*** Again, this submission is NOT to establish a hostile dialogue with the BSU or to
perpetuate any such competitive or otherwise negative exchange between organizations on
campus, but I believe it is important to note that as a leader of a minority organization
I have personally felt shunned by the BSU. ***
I also would like to take this opportunity to respond to the accusations that those of us
who strongly disagree with the BSU's actions in response to this budget situation are
"negating The Black Student Union's role on this campus", "have failed to read the
demands in full before passing judgment", and "have been brainwashed into the white,
patriarchal views of oppression that continuously faults the subtly oppressed".
In response to the first charge: both as an individual and as a leader of a minority
group, I fully recognize the significant role the BSU plays on this campus. This is why,
no matter how many times the BSU turned Outlook down, I supported trying to include the
group in our plans. I believe the BSU has a powerful, important voice in our campus
atmosphere. I wish, therefore, that the organization was spending its time trying to fix
this budget problem -- instead of presenting irrational demands and pointing fingers --
so that our campus can benefit from its presence next year.
As to the claim that I have not read the BSU's demands in full, this also is untrue. In
fact, I have read what was presented to the DCGA as well as the letter that was sent out
to the administration the following day. Reading these documents not only served to
justify my frustrations with the BSU's actions, but the words actually increased my
anger. I agree, however, that individuals should be fully informed before passing
judgment on the situation, so, readers, please try to get your hands on these documents
if you can.
Finally, in response to the accusation of being "brainwashed" and "oppressive", I have
very little to say other than how dare you dismiss my opinions by throwing the race card
in my face. I have spent a significant portion of my life fighting for equality of all
kinds - economic, racial, gender and sexual orientation based - so do not tell me that
because I find the BSU's actions irresponsible and exclusive that I am immoral and unjust.
If you would like to talk to me about anything in this submission, feel free to contact
me:
swenss_e@denison.edu
Slayter box 8904
Thursday, April 9, 2009
This is made in response to the BSU’s recent list of demands that it made to DCGA. I do not have an electronic copy of these demands to submit to either the Denisonian or the Bullsheet for reprinting, but I’m sure that if you know someone on DCGA, they would be able to get you a copy. Let me respond to the allegations and demands of the BSU in the order in which their letter addresses them:
The BSU was funded $40,000 for the Black Men’s Summit (BMS), which was not requested in their 2009 budget. Then, by the BSU’s own account, they came back and asked for more money a second time. The BMS drew in very few people. It was a waste of money, costing the Denison Community $40,000. Not to mention, a ‘Black Men’s Summit’ hardly sounds inclusive of the entire community.
It is true that the Finance Committee did not approve a budget for the BSU, but it is not the case that the FC denied the BSU’s budget requests. Rather, the BSU failed to submit its budget in a timely manner. Having missed the deadline entirely, the BSU claimed that computer virus issues deleted the budget, and yet, when asked for one after the deadline, it could not be immediately produced and, in fact, has still not been produced according to the rules of DCGA, the three-weeks passed deadline notwithstanding. Why is it taking so long? It would seem that, which such an extensive budget, a number of people would have had final copies of a number of sections, which would make reproducing it a quick and simple matter. Furthermore, the BSU failed to submit an executed fiscal responsibility form, a form that is submitted in hard copy. The fact of the matter is this: The BSU failed to draft a budget at all and, as such, was rightly denied funding from DCGA. Instead of admitting that they had missed the deadline and requesting more time, they fabricated a story to buy time and then began making demands.
In light of this, the BSU’s demand that their budget be ‘granted in full’ is nonsense. There is no timely-submitted budget to approve. The BSU get equal rights as a campus organization, not special rights.
Additionally, the BSU demands the restoration of theirs and other minority community Senator seats, whose Senators have willingly resigned. These seats have not been permanently revoked. They will be filled in the next election as is the case with any community seat which is vacated. If the BSU does not want to lose its community seats, it would be well-advised to appoint people who will not resign. Outlook itself went last semester without any senators at all because both of its Senators had to resign; the BSU was hardly clamoring then for Outlook’s senate seats to be restored. In this section of its letter, the BSU does demand that all community senator seats be restored, making it appear as if the BSU is also advocating for the other minority communities as well. However, this advocating is proved disingenuous by the remainder of the BSU’s demands.
In the next section, the BSU demands a permanent seat on the DCGA executive board. It does not, however, also demand that any other minority community (Outlook, Muslim, Asian, Jewish, Hispanic) get a permanent executive seat. They also demand permanent seats on every DCGA community, but not for the other community senators.
Next, the BSU demands increased funding to the Office of Multicultural Student Affairs. Clearly, the BSU misunderstands the role of DCGA and the scope of its authority. DCGA, for those of you in the BSU who drafted this document, funds STUDENT organizations. The OMSA is a Denison University office and no money from DCGA, nor can it.
The BSU’s demand that funding be set aside for the express purpose of retaining students of color sounds fantastic, but it makes no provisions for how such money would be allocated or towards what sorts of programs it would go.
The BSU’s request for a resolution regarding the GE requirements seems reasonable, but really has no bearing to this budget process.
The demand that DCGA re-organize the FC to the BSU specifications is ridiculous. The BSU and every other organization requesting funding is given audience with the FC to present their budgets, and each is also given the opportunity for a question and answer session before the entire Senate regarding its budget. At which meeting, by the way, the BSU staged a sit-in on April 7, 2009, disallowing the remainder of the DCGA-funded organizations who did submit timely budgets their opportunity for audience before the whole Senate.
On the matter of requiring Senators to participate in a Sustained Dialogue group, I would suggest to the BSU that they ask their duly-appointed Senator to introduce such a resolution.
On the issue of the BSU’s demand for a minimum of $50,000, it needs to be noted that no student organization is given a floor for funding. The BSU is afforded those same rights, not special ones. Again, perhaps the gay, Muslim, Jewish, Asian, Hispanic or other communities should also get a minimum amount of funding. But, again, the BSU is interested only in its own funding, to the detriment of the other minority communities and, to be sure, the entire Dension student body writ large. The money that DCGA allocates is our ‘Student Activity Fee’ that we pay every year. It is our money that they want, but it is also our rules that they do not believe should apply to them, despite the fact that they have demonstrated their ability to follow them in the past.
Finally, DCGA cannot purchase a van for the OMSA. Again, the OMSA is a Denison office, not DCGA-funded. Additionally, the BSU letter does not even make an effort to justify such a ludicrous demand.
The DCGA and its FC have not voted inconsistently at all. There are policies in place, which the BSU managed, without problem, to meet last fiscal year. Having failed to adhere to those policies this year has its consequences. Perhaps it will be detrimental to Denison to not have any BSU events in the coming year, but that is not the fault of the FC or the University, but instead, falls on the heads of the BSU itself. In my opinion, the BSU’s self-serving argument that, unless the rules are bent for it, everyone else in DCGA is biased and racist is childish and, worse yet, selfish and morally reprehensible. This is not an issue of race, it is an issue of policy. Moreover, it is the BSU that has disrespected the community by first failing to abide by the rules and then demanding that the rules be changed to accommodate them.
In this past year (2009), the BSU requested more money (by $8,000) than did UPC, a DCGA-funded organization which promotes the inclusion of every Denisonian, without regard to race. The BSU last year was granted $77,597, 50% of its request and more than any other DCGA-funded organization with the exception of UPC. UPC’s own budget was slashed to 78% of its original request. And still, the BSU came back asking for more ($40,000 more), which it was granted, giving the BSU 75% of its original budget request. And still, the BSU came back asking for more. Enough is enough. More than enough concessions have been made. Every other DCGA-funded organization spent weeks this year compiling their budgets, forsaking friends and activities, in order to meet the DCGA deadline. The BSU’s argument that computer problems caused the electronic submission of their budget seems to be an outright lie, but is irrelevant nonetheless. Lacking the appropriate hard documentation and advisor approval, the FC could do no more than it did. It did not even have the power to deny a budget. It simply had nothing to hear. Furthermore, the lack of these hard copies only bolsters the proposition that no budget ever existed.
The BSU is not too big to fail. The incompetent handling of its budget has had its consequence. The BSU is afforded rights equal to those of every other campus organization, but its ‘demand’ for special rights should offend everyone.
John Schaffranek (schaff_j)
Class of 2009
The BSU was funded $40,000 for the Black Men’s Summit (BMS), which was not requested in their 2009 budget. Then, by the BSU’s own account, they came back and asked for more money a second time. The BMS drew in very few people. It was a waste of money, costing the Denison Community $40,000. Not to mention, a ‘Black Men’s Summit’ hardly sounds inclusive of the entire community.
It is true that the Finance Committee did not approve a budget for the BSU, but it is not the case that the FC denied the BSU’s budget requests. Rather, the BSU failed to submit its budget in a timely manner. Having missed the deadline entirely, the BSU claimed that computer virus issues deleted the budget, and yet, when asked for one after the deadline, it could not be immediately produced and, in fact, has still not been produced according to the rules of DCGA, the three-weeks passed deadline notwithstanding. Why is it taking so long? It would seem that, which such an extensive budget, a number of people would have had final copies of a number of sections, which would make reproducing it a quick and simple matter. Furthermore, the BSU failed to submit an executed fiscal responsibility form, a form that is submitted in hard copy. The fact of the matter is this: The BSU failed to draft a budget at all and, as such, was rightly denied funding from DCGA. Instead of admitting that they had missed the deadline and requesting more time, they fabricated a story to buy time and then began making demands.
In light of this, the BSU’s demand that their budget be ‘granted in full’ is nonsense. There is no timely-submitted budget to approve. The BSU get equal rights as a campus organization, not special rights.
Additionally, the BSU demands the restoration of theirs and other minority community Senator seats, whose Senators have willingly resigned. These seats have not been permanently revoked. They will be filled in the next election as is the case with any community seat which is vacated. If the BSU does not want to lose its community seats, it would be well-advised to appoint people who will not resign. Outlook itself went last semester without any senators at all because both of its Senators had to resign; the BSU was hardly clamoring then for Outlook’s senate seats to be restored. In this section of its letter, the BSU does demand that all community senator seats be restored, making it appear as if the BSU is also advocating for the other minority communities as well. However, this advocating is proved disingenuous by the remainder of the BSU’s demands.
In the next section, the BSU demands a permanent seat on the DCGA executive board. It does not, however, also demand that any other minority community (Outlook, Muslim, Asian, Jewish, Hispanic) get a permanent executive seat. They also demand permanent seats on every DCGA community, but not for the other community senators.
Next, the BSU demands increased funding to the Office of Multicultural Student Affairs. Clearly, the BSU misunderstands the role of DCGA and the scope of its authority. DCGA, for those of you in the BSU who drafted this document, funds STUDENT organizations. The OMSA is a Denison University office and no money from DCGA, nor can it.
The BSU’s demand that funding be set aside for the express purpose of retaining students of color sounds fantastic, but it makes no provisions for how such money would be allocated or towards what sorts of programs it would go.
The BSU’s request for a resolution regarding the GE requirements seems reasonable, but really has no bearing to this budget process.
The demand that DCGA re-organize the FC to the BSU specifications is ridiculous. The BSU and every other organization requesting funding is given audience with the FC to present their budgets, and each is also given the opportunity for a question and answer session before the entire Senate regarding its budget. At which meeting, by the way, the BSU staged a sit-in on April 7, 2009, disallowing the remainder of the DCGA-funded organizations who did submit timely budgets their opportunity for audience before the whole Senate.
On the matter of requiring Senators to participate in a Sustained Dialogue group, I would suggest to the BSU that they ask their duly-appointed Senator to introduce such a resolution.
On the issue of the BSU’s demand for a minimum of $50,000, it needs to be noted that no student organization is given a floor for funding. The BSU is afforded those same rights, not special ones. Again, perhaps the gay, Muslim, Jewish, Asian, Hispanic or other communities should also get a minimum amount of funding. But, again, the BSU is interested only in its own funding, to the detriment of the other minority communities and, to be sure, the entire Dension student body writ large. The money that DCGA allocates is our ‘Student Activity Fee’ that we pay every year. It is our money that they want, but it is also our rules that they do not believe should apply to them, despite the fact that they have demonstrated their ability to follow them in the past.
Finally, DCGA cannot purchase a van for the OMSA. Again, the OMSA is a Denison office, not DCGA-funded. Additionally, the BSU letter does not even make an effort to justify such a ludicrous demand.
The DCGA and its FC have not voted inconsistently at all. There are policies in place, which the BSU managed, without problem, to meet last fiscal year. Having failed to adhere to those policies this year has its consequences. Perhaps it will be detrimental to Denison to not have any BSU events in the coming year, but that is not the fault of the FC or the University, but instead, falls on the heads of the BSU itself. In my opinion, the BSU’s self-serving argument that, unless the rules are bent for it, everyone else in DCGA is biased and racist is childish and, worse yet, selfish and morally reprehensible. This is not an issue of race, it is an issue of policy. Moreover, it is the BSU that has disrespected the community by first failing to abide by the rules and then demanding that the rules be changed to accommodate them.
In this past year (2009), the BSU requested more money (by $8,000) than did UPC, a DCGA-funded organization which promotes the inclusion of every Denisonian, without regard to race. The BSU last year was granted $77,597, 50% of its request and more than any other DCGA-funded organization with the exception of UPC. UPC’s own budget was slashed to 78% of its original request. And still, the BSU came back asking for more ($40,000 more), which it was granted, giving the BSU 75% of its original budget request. And still, the BSU came back asking for more. Enough is enough. More than enough concessions have been made. Every other DCGA-funded organization spent weeks this year compiling their budgets, forsaking friends and activities, in order to meet the DCGA deadline. The BSU’s argument that computer problems caused the electronic submission of their budget seems to be an outright lie, but is irrelevant nonetheless. Lacking the appropriate hard documentation and advisor approval, the FC could do no more than it did. It did not even have the power to deny a budget. It simply had nothing to hear. Furthermore, the lack of these hard copies only bolsters the proposition that no budget ever existed.
The BSU is not too big to fail. The incompetent handling of its budget has had its consequence. The BSU is afforded rights equal to those of every other campus organization, but its ‘demand’ for special rights should offend everyone.
John Schaffranek (schaff_j)
Class of 2009
BSU—DCGA...discuss
first off, lets put aside race for a moment. To put this conflict into the realm of racial tension undermines the complete stupidity of the actions taken. Let’s talk about the ridiculous, incredible, absolutely elitist ideals that are floating around this issue. So the BSU didn’t submit a budget. That means the BSU doesn’t get a budget. Every year its the same, no change. Sure orgz. can collaborate and swindle some funding that way but to ignore the protocol, the documentation, and the basic necessity of a budget leaves no blame but on the late/lazy/unfortunate victims of the incalculable measure that is time, party.
If the events did occur as I have been told, and as they have been published, then the ensuing actions taken by students in the BSU are utterly revolting. The BSU dropped the ball, it’s ok, it happens. But to go in, hold a sit in and suggest the resignation of a bureaucratic organization based on their following of protocol and legislation is goddamn asinine. To demand that an organization receive ‘guaranteed’ funding from OUR (the students) budget is absurd, pretentious, and above all else, denotes obnoxious entitlement. I don’t know the grounds on which some of the students (as I can’t imagine the whole BSU supports such ridiculous antics) request resignation, or even a guaranteed budget, but if they are based in disenfranchisement, discrimination, or ambiguous legislation they should be orderly addressed. Grossly aggressive claims with pretension is no way to conduct oneself especially when representing a collection of students.
In closing I ask that those involved look at this debacle as Stephen Colbert might. Step into the ‘color free’ zone, examine the problem and discuss what actions are reasonable, rationale, and based in intelligence—can’t find any of the above? Exactly. I submit there need only be a ‘Wag of the Finger.’ Don’t simplify this behavior by acts of race. Evaluate the situation considering the complete ineptitude, aggressive persuasion, un-founded claims and demands.
I apologize in advance if my facts, and presumptions from those facts, are incorrect. But if what I have been told, what I have read, is accurate I can only say that those making such ludicrous demands are acting on entitlement, something that Denison needs no more of!
Peter Zimmer
8678
first off, lets put aside race for a moment. To put this conflict into the realm of racial tension undermines the complete stupidity of the actions taken. Let’s talk about the ridiculous, incredible, absolutely elitist ideals that are floating around this issue. So the BSU didn’t submit a budget. That means the BSU doesn’t get a budget. Every year its the same, no change. Sure orgz. can collaborate and swindle some funding that way but to ignore the protocol, the documentation, and the basic necessity of a budget leaves no blame but on the late/lazy/unfortunate victims of the incalculable measure that is time, party.
If the events did occur as I have been told, and as they have been published, then the ensuing actions taken by students in the BSU are utterly revolting. The BSU dropped the ball, it’s ok, it happens. But to go in, hold a sit in and suggest the resignation of a bureaucratic organization based on their following of protocol and legislation is goddamn asinine. To demand that an organization receive ‘guaranteed’ funding from OUR (the students) budget is absurd, pretentious, and above all else, denotes obnoxious entitlement. I don’t know the grounds on which some of the students (as I can’t imagine the whole BSU supports such ridiculous antics) request resignation, or even a guaranteed budget, but if they are based in disenfranchisement, discrimination, or ambiguous legislation they should be orderly addressed. Grossly aggressive claims with pretension is no way to conduct oneself especially when representing a collection of students.
In closing I ask that those involved look at this debacle as Stephen Colbert might. Step into the ‘color free’ zone, examine the problem and discuss what actions are reasonable, rationale, and based in intelligence—can’t find any of the above? Exactly. I submit there need only be a ‘Wag of the Finger.’ Don’t simplify this behavior by acts of race. Evaluate the situation considering the complete ineptitude, aggressive persuasion, un-founded claims and demands.
I apologize in advance if my facts, and presumptions from those facts, are incorrect. But if what I have been told, what I have read, is accurate I can only say that those making such ludicrous demands are acting on entitlement, something that Denison needs no more of!
Peter Zimmer
8678
To Whom It May Concern:
Within my four years at Denison I have never been compelled to write into the BullSheet until today. I know that we are all adults so I am not going to tell people what to do this is simply food for thought.
*Understand that just because you are on the BSU email list and have come to one meeting throughout your time at Denison does NOT make you a member. Please do not speak on the behalf of an misrepresent what the BSU is standing for.
*DCGA stipulated that an emailed and hard copy of the budget be submitted as well as the fiscal responsibility sheet on a specific day and time. Understand that the BSU turned in an email copy of the budget. We are not seeking special treatment yet equity and consistency of the rules. Other organizations that did not receive a budget did not turn ANYTHING in. The BSU did and that effort makes no difference. Other organizations that did not turn in all three of these documents but turned in at least one, their budget was accepted (which means rules were bent for this to occur). Computing services has stated that the attachment within the email could not be opened. This says to me that the BSU budget rest on a computer glitch. Understand that.
*Realize there is more than one side to every story so try not to judge based on one. Ask questions, the BSU and others I’m sure will not negate to answer.
*Our organization affects more than those who attend weekly meetings but organizations and communities both on and off this campus. Technically, if policies were held to across the board we would not have to have these conversations, hold late night meetings, and deal with issues such as this.
*Make sure than informants relay proper information. Throughout this entire process members of the BSU have not been violent nor have we created a hostile environment. The same things were said about people during the Civil Rights Movement. Just like them, we have a presence about ourselves, which is not our fault. Just food for thought!
By the way, I, Ciara M. Scott do not give a rat’s ass about what other people have done in similar organizations. They are not the BSU! We do not think we are better than any other organization on this campus but we believe that we were done an injustice and this is what we are doing about it. We will continue to do what ever it takes to get things done.
Sincerely,
Ciara M. Scott
Scott_cm@denison.edu
Within my four years at Denison I have never been compelled to write into the BullSheet until today. I know that we are all adults so I am not going to tell people what to do this is simply food for thought.
*Understand that just because you are on the BSU email list and have come to one meeting throughout your time at Denison does NOT make you a member. Please do not speak on the behalf of an misrepresent what the BSU is standing for.
*DCGA stipulated that an emailed and hard copy of the budget be submitted as well as the fiscal responsibility sheet on a specific day and time. Understand that the BSU turned in an email copy of the budget. We are not seeking special treatment yet equity and consistency of the rules. Other organizations that did not receive a budget did not turn ANYTHING in. The BSU did and that effort makes no difference. Other organizations that did not turn in all three of these documents but turned in at least one, their budget was accepted (which means rules were bent for this to occur). Computing services has stated that the attachment within the email could not be opened. This says to me that the BSU budget rest on a computer glitch. Understand that.
*Realize there is more than one side to every story so try not to judge based on one. Ask questions, the BSU and others I’m sure will not negate to answer.
*Our organization affects more than those who attend weekly meetings but organizations and communities both on and off this campus. Technically, if policies were held to across the board we would not have to have these conversations, hold late night meetings, and deal with issues such as this.
*Make sure than informants relay proper information. Throughout this entire process members of the BSU have not been violent nor have we created a hostile environment. The same things were said about people during the Civil Rights Movement. Just like them, we have a presence about ourselves, which is not our fault. Just food for thought!
By the way, I, Ciara M. Scott do not give a rat’s ass about what other people have done in similar organizations. They are not the BSU! We do not think we are better than any other organization on this campus but we believe that we were done an injustice and this is what we are doing about it. We will continue to do what ever it takes to get things done.
Sincerely,
Ciara M. Scott
Scott_cm@denison.edu
To the Denison Community:
It is very interesting (and quite ignorant) that so many Denisonians think that they deserve to speak on issues concerning the relationship between The Black Student Union and DCGA when they are not fully informed about the issue at hand from each point of view.
Most often, this ignorance stems from Denison students not being actively, let alone physically, present during these events and having hasty sidebar conversations with other poorly informed individuals.
As Denison University scholars, it is important that we stress what it means to be a well-versed scholar and not a gossip expert. Thus, it is imperative that before publicly or privately, positively or negatively addressing ANY issue that concerns The Black Student Union and DCGA, individuals should make sure that they are completely and thoroughly informed about the matter.
Here are the basics: DCGA’s funding policies have a history of numerous flaws. Such policies and inconsistent practices (yes, the ones they are trying to cover them up with 13 page dissertations of heavy white lies) have the affect of hindering the very people that they were originally supposed to defend. THIS IS AN ISSUE!!! The very reason that this issue is so important is because whereas it looks like The Black Student Union has been throwing around its weight, it has actually been certain persuasive members of DCGA that allowed their fellow Denisonians to be misguided into thinking such contradictory and irrational myths.
Members of The Black Student Union make a steadfast commitment to benefit and support the entire Denison community- regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, religious beliefs or sexual orientation, etc. Ironically, it has been falsely stated that The Black Student Union is acting with hostility and violence toward DCGA members, both individually and collectively. We have tried to facilitate civilized conversations with these members in attempts to simply remind them that many members of The Black Student Union feel neglected and misrepresented by their decisions not to fund The Black Student Union for the 2009-2010 fiscal year. The Black Student Union members’ feelings challenge DCGA’s constitutional promises "to protect the rights of ALL [sic] the students of Denison University and to mind the legitimate NEEDS and DESIRES of the students and manifest them in policy and institutional action" (DCGA website, 2009). Right now, people feel attacked by DCGA’s decision; next semester incoming freshmen will be hurt by DCGA’s decision as well as a long list of campus organizations that depend on the co-sponsorships of The Black Student Union.
All of these feelings of hurt and neglect will drastically transform our campus atmosphere. It is ignorant and disrespectful to allow an entire community of individuals to harbor said feelings without doing a damn thing about it and exhausting so much time to deny us the abilities to progress and live at Denison as comfortably as they live. If any individual or group believes that this attitude or the organization’s demands are arrogant and/or exclusive, they are 1) negating The Black Student Union’s role on this campus, 2) they have failed to read the demands in full before passing judgment and 3) they have been brainwashed into the white, patriarchal views of oppression that continuously faults the subtly oppressed. Furthermore, if ANY member of DCGA feels violently attacked or treated with hostility "they are free to publicly announce the occasion that led them to feel this way rather than speaking about it privately and/or simply allowing such childish rumors to spread across campus" (Owens, 2009).
If anyone wants to discuss The Black Student Union’s history they should be well informed that in the past The Black Student Union has "generally presented good budgets" (Freiermuth email, 2009). However, despite The Black Student Union’s professional practices, DCGA has repeatedly created roadblocks in the organization’s funding processes. This year alone, DCGA Finance disrespectfully denied The Black Student Union funding for The Black Men’s Summit after previously allocating the same money for the event. Let us acknowledge that this forum was designed to "bring three International scholars to address Denison’s significantly low retention rates for Black Men" and its affect on the ENTIRE Denison community (Collins, 2009). Historically, however, there have been significantly less conflicts with DCGA’s funding of Culture Jam compared to The Black Student Union’s intellectually inspired events. Perhaps that is because stereotypically, that is all us Blacks are good for anyway, right? Dancing, jigging and rapping have been seen as our strong suits— not mentoring our youth and serving our community in various ways (which we do); not scholarly engagement inside and OUTSIDE of the classroom with students, faculty and administration alike (which we do partake in); not producing an abundance of Denison’s student leaders (which The BSU does)… we could add on to this list for an eternity actually, but we are going to stop here in order to be environmentally friendly (which The BSU also is).
It is problematic that even while attending and promoting a liberal arts education, many of our community members still incorporate society’s conservative and stagnate views in every aspect of our campus life while The Black Student Union and its allies are left to continuously contest these same obsolete and unchanging perspectives.
It is problematic that even while attending and promoting a liberal arts education, many of our community members still incorporate society’s conservative and stagnate views in every aspect of our campus life while The Black Student Union and its allies are left to continuously contest these same obsolete and unchanging perspectives.
Respectfully submitted by concerned student activity fee payers,
Ja’Vida Ja’Von Ford
Tyra Chanel Owens
Significant contributions by,
Jamie Nicole McDonald
P.S. We are speaking as individual members of informed members of The Black Student Union and not on behalf of the entire organization.
P.S.S. Please do THOROUGHLY read the 2009-2010 BSU "budget clarification" submitted by the DCGA Executive Board members. If you cannot find this document, please refer all initial requests to DCGA President Ryan Burandt who should have a "working attachment" in his email.
P.S.S.S. This entire situation is some BullSheet!!!
It is very interesting (and quite ignorant) that so many Denisonians think that they deserve to speak on issues concerning the relationship between The Black Student Union and DCGA when they are not fully informed about the issue at hand from each point of view.
Most often, this ignorance stems from Denison students not being actively, let alone physically, present during these events and having hasty sidebar conversations with other poorly informed individuals.
As Denison University scholars, it is important that we stress what it means to be a well-versed scholar and not a gossip expert. Thus, it is imperative that before publicly or privately, positively or negatively addressing ANY issue that concerns The Black Student Union and DCGA, individuals should make sure that they are completely and thoroughly informed about the matter.
Here are the basics: DCGA’s funding policies have a history of numerous flaws. Such policies and inconsistent practices (yes, the ones they are trying to cover them up with 13 page dissertations of heavy white lies) have the affect of hindering the very people that they were originally supposed to defend. THIS IS AN ISSUE!!! The very reason that this issue is so important is because whereas it looks like The Black Student Union has been throwing around its weight, it has actually been certain persuasive members of DCGA that allowed their fellow Denisonians to be misguided into thinking such contradictory and irrational myths.
Members of The Black Student Union make a steadfast commitment to benefit and support the entire Denison community- regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, religious beliefs or sexual orientation, etc. Ironically, it has been falsely stated that The Black Student Union is acting with hostility and violence toward DCGA members, both individually and collectively. We have tried to facilitate civilized conversations with these members in attempts to simply remind them that many members of The Black Student Union feel neglected and misrepresented by their decisions not to fund The Black Student Union for the 2009-2010 fiscal year. The Black Student Union members’ feelings challenge DCGA’s constitutional promises "to protect the rights of ALL [sic] the students of Denison University and to mind the legitimate NEEDS and DESIRES of the students and manifest them in policy and institutional action" (DCGA website, 2009). Right now, people feel attacked by DCGA’s decision; next semester incoming freshmen will be hurt by DCGA’s decision as well as a long list of campus organizations that depend on the co-sponsorships of The Black Student Union.
All of these feelings of hurt and neglect will drastically transform our campus atmosphere. It is ignorant and disrespectful to allow an entire community of individuals to harbor said feelings without doing a damn thing about it and exhausting so much time to deny us the abilities to progress and live at Denison as comfortably as they live. If any individual or group believes that this attitude or the organization’s demands are arrogant and/or exclusive, they are 1) negating The Black Student Union’s role on this campus, 2) they have failed to read the demands in full before passing judgment and 3) they have been brainwashed into the white, patriarchal views of oppression that continuously faults the subtly oppressed. Furthermore, if ANY member of DCGA feels violently attacked or treated with hostility "they are free to publicly announce the occasion that led them to feel this way rather than speaking about it privately and/or simply allowing such childish rumors to spread across campus" (Owens, 2009).
If anyone wants to discuss The Black Student Union’s history they should be well informed that in the past The Black Student Union has "generally presented good budgets" (Freiermuth email, 2009). However, despite The Black Student Union’s professional practices, DCGA has repeatedly created roadblocks in the organization’s funding processes. This year alone, DCGA Finance disrespectfully denied The Black Student Union funding for The Black Men’s Summit after previously allocating the same money for the event. Let us acknowledge that this forum was designed to "bring three International scholars to address Denison’s significantly low retention rates for Black Men" and its affect on the ENTIRE Denison community (Collins, 2009). Historically, however, there have been significantly less conflicts with DCGA’s funding of Culture Jam compared to The Black Student Union’s intellectually inspired events. Perhaps that is because stereotypically, that is all us Blacks are good for anyway, right? Dancing, jigging and rapping have been seen as our strong suits— not mentoring our youth and serving our community in various ways (which we do); not scholarly engagement inside and OUTSIDE of the classroom with students, faculty and administration alike (which we do partake in); not producing an abundance of Denison’s student leaders (which The BSU does)… we could add on to this list for an eternity actually, but we are going to stop here in order to be environmentally friendly (which The BSU also is).
It is problematic that even while attending and promoting a liberal arts education, many of our community members still incorporate society’s conservative and stagnate views in every aspect of our campus life while The Black Student Union and its allies are left to continuously contest these same obsolete and unchanging perspectives.
It is problematic that even while attending and promoting a liberal arts education, many of our community members still incorporate society’s conservative and stagnate views in every aspect of our campus life while The Black Student Union and its allies are left to continuously contest these same obsolete and unchanging perspectives.
Respectfully submitted by concerned student activity fee payers,
Ja’Vida Ja’Von Ford
Tyra Chanel Owens
Significant contributions by,
Jamie Nicole McDonald
P.S. We are speaking as individual members of informed members of The Black Student Union and not on behalf of the entire organization.
P.S.S. Please do THOROUGHLY read the 2009-2010 BSU "budget clarification" submitted by the DCGA Executive Board members. If you cannot find this document, please refer all initial requests to DCGA President Ryan Burandt who should have a "working attachment" in his email.
P.S.S.S. This entire situation is some BullSheet!!!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Dang Girl How You Git All That Ass in them Jeans: A Study of the Effects of the Amply Proportioned Posterior upon the Spacetime Continuum
It was a moment which would later spur the greatest academic endeavor of my career: I was traversing from my Quantum Theory class to my piano lesson, when my companions and I passed by a group of hoodlums. We were very much apprehensive, and scurried by with gazes averted. I could not help but notice, however, that one of the troubled youths was looking rather licentiously in the direction of the seat of my trousers. When we had passed, I heard the same ruffian call out after me to the effect of- and you must excuse my vulgarity- "Dang girl how you git all that ass in them jeans?"
Naturally, as a bashful young girl, I was mortified at the time. However, the excitements of my studies soon pushed the episode from my mind entirely. It was not until later, during my second year at Cambridge, that I began to consider the significance of the remark. By then, a lifestyle of lethargy and youthful cavorting had caused my buttocks to increase to a disproportionately large size. After a long night of lab equipment maintenance, I began taking measurement of my sizeable rump, and comparing them with measurements of several pair of my trousers.
The results of my informal experiment were astounding. It appeared that, even when accounting for the elasticity index of the denim, the dimensions of my arse actually exceeded the dimensions of the trousers in question. Though I ran countless trials, the data would not yield; according to the currently accepted laws of physics, I could not, in fact, git all that ass in them jeans.
I feared that publication of these results would render me a pariah in the intellectual community. However, when physicists and Apple Bottom retailers across the globe repeated this experiment, its implications were irrefutable. My buttocks simply defied the laws of physics. The ensuing uproar produced a veritable milkshake of conjectures and theories. This milkshake would inevitably bring all the boys to the yard.
Harvard Yard, that is- where the world’s most prestigious researchers gathered to discuss this phenomenon. Some of the most charismatic speeches were made by philanthropic celebrities such as Dr. McHammer, who addressed the Board of Fellows:
"Fellows?"
"Yeah!"
"Fellows?"
"Yeah!"
"Has yo girlfriend got the butt?"
"Hell yeah!"
I myself was also under considerable scrutiny. A number of queries were posited throughout the evening, ranging from whether I could shake it to the left, shake it to the right, back that thang up, down, sideways, or in any number of directions hitherto unknown to me. The dean was especially interested in the many possibilities presented by my plump posterior. "What should be done with this information?", he mused, "Should it be popped, locked, or dropped altogether?"
As it turns out, the matter was not dropped, but grew to be one of the most sought-after topics for undergraduate research since 2006, when it was discovered that latin-pop singer Shakira’s hips were, indeed, completely incapable of telling a falsehood.
-Kaitlyn Grissom, Phreshman Editor
Naturally, as a bashful young girl, I was mortified at the time. However, the excitements of my studies soon pushed the episode from my mind entirely. It was not until later, during my second year at Cambridge, that I began to consider the significance of the remark. By then, a lifestyle of lethargy and youthful cavorting had caused my buttocks to increase to a disproportionately large size. After a long night of lab equipment maintenance, I began taking measurement of my sizeable rump, and comparing them with measurements of several pair of my trousers.
The results of my informal experiment were astounding. It appeared that, even when accounting for the elasticity index of the denim, the dimensions of my arse actually exceeded the dimensions of the trousers in question. Though I ran countless trials, the data would not yield; according to the currently accepted laws of physics, I could not, in fact, git all that ass in them jeans.
I feared that publication of these results would render me a pariah in the intellectual community. However, when physicists and Apple Bottom retailers across the globe repeated this experiment, its implications were irrefutable. My buttocks simply defied the laws of physics. The ensuing uproar produced a veritable milkshake of conjectures and theories. This milkshake would inevitably bring all the boys to the yard.
Harvard Yard, that is- where the world’s most prestigious researchers gathered to discuss this phenomenon. Some of the most charismatic speeches were made by philanthropic celebrities such as Dr. McHammer, who addressed the Board of Fellows:
"Fellows?"
"Yeah!"
"Fellows?"
"Yeah!"
"Has yo girlfriend got the butt?"
"Hell yeah!"
I myself was also under considerable scrutiny. A number of queries were posited throughout the evening, ranging from whether I could shake it to the left, shake it to the right, back that thang up, down, sideways, or in any number of directions hitherto unknown to me. The dean was especially interested in the many possibilities presented by my plump posterior. "What should be done with this information?", he mused, "Should it be popped, locked, or dropped altogether?"
As it turns out, the matter was not dropped, but grew to be one of the most sought-after topics for undergraduate research since 2006, when it was discovered that latin-pop singer Shakira’s hips were, indeed, completely incapable of telling a falsehood.
-Kaitlyn Grissom, Phreshman Editor
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