Flashing. Lights. Flashing. Lights.

Thanksgiving break is approaching. Lots of cool stuff happens over break, but the best
thing about it is when you get to see all your friends from home. It's awesome when they
tell you how much fun they're having at college. Then you realize how lame the little
clusterfuck get togethers here are. You realize that though you are smarter than your
state school friends, your idea of a party has fallen to the low level of a few dudes in
button ups doing a dance they practiced all week to the melody of Lady Gaga. You realize
you really had sex with that girl/guy, and that somehow you have been brainwashed by this
school to think they were attractive. You realize you never went to a sporting event
drunk after a morning of tailgating. You realize you never went to a sporting event
period. You realize that your friends' party houses cost half the price of your double in
east quad. You realize that your friends supply their party houses with beer money that
did not have to go towards an overpriced mealplan. You realize that ninety percent of the
bros here have never been to a real college party. You realize that none of those bros
have ever got the shit kicked out of them at a real college party for being douchers. You
realize that this school is literally the only place in the universe where Denny the
security guard has any power. You realize this is literally the only place in the
universe where Denny the security guard is able to talk to girls. You realize that the
quality of your meal depends on whether or not the cooks have had their meth. FUCK. I
hope everyone is looking forward to break as much as I am.

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