Dear Erin Mulhern,
Nothing personal, but you yourself look like a douche by using the word "retarded" in an
insulting manner. Seeing as you're an English major, I'd expect you to be able to come
up with a more politically correct, and less offensive, phrase. :)
-Crystal 7455
Monday, November 30, 2009
Vote For Cheesecake
Hey Sean 9036,
Denison has a Dining Hall Services Committee on which DCGA elects students to serve.
Maybe if you spent half as much time running for a spot as you do bitching, you'd see
some changes.
8580
Denison has a Dining Hall Services Committee on which DCGA elects students to serve.
Maybe if you spent half as much time running for a spot as you do bitching, you'd see
some changes.
8580
Busy Bee Busts Balls
Dear Denison,
If I wanted to impress my friends, I would tell them about the time I went skydiving, or
that I have a pet chimpanzee.
I would not tell them about how many papers I have to write, how many all-nighters I've
pulled this week, or how many tests I have on the same day, because none of these things
are impressive.
It is nearly the end of the semester, and everyone is really, really busy. The least we
can all do is spare one another the lame horror-story about our miserable lives.
Carlin
If I wanted to impress my friends, I would tell them about the time I went skydiving, or
that I have a pet chimpanzee.
I would not tell them about how many papers I have to write, how many all-nighters I've
pulled this week, or how many tests I have on the same day, because none of these things
are impressive.
It is nearly the end of the semester, and everyone is really, really busy. The least we
can all do is spare one another the lame horror-story about our miserable lives.
Carlin
Like No = His Words, Not Mine
I would like to apologize for the "crystal meth" comment I made in my submission
this past Friday. No, there is probably no correlation between the quality of meals and
crystal meth. Additionally, though this comment was not necessarily directed toward food
service employees at Denison, I can see how the comment was grossly insensitive. I can
also see how it could hurt the feelings of "cooks" at this school. So, for that I'm sorry.
On the other hand, though crystal meth has nothing to do with it, the food at
Denison still sucks, and I hate having to pay to eat it. Thus, I have included my
revision to the crystal meth statement: You realize that the quality of your meal
probably has nothing to do with crystal meth (though you have entertained the idea) or
the cooks (because who would want to hurt their feelings?).
7318
this past Friday. No, there is probably no correlation between the quality of meals and
crystal meth. Additionally, though this comment was not necessarily directed toward food
service employees at Denison, I can see how the comment was grossly insensitive. I can
also see how it could hurt the feelings of "cooks" at this school. So, for that I'm sorry.
On the other hand, though crystal meth has nothing to do with it, the food at
Denison still sucks, and I hate having to pay to eat it. Thus, I have included my
revision to the crystal meth statement: You realize that the quality of your meal
probably has nothing to do with crystal meth (though you have entertained the idea) or
the cooks (because who would want to hurt their feelings?).
7318
Democracy In Action
I don't really know what power the co-governor possesses. Nor have I concerned myself in
the past about their responsibilities or potential in changing Denison. But I will give
a resounding "Goddamn" to Mr. Jerome Price. His campaign is top notch. Great posters,
sir. Strategic placement. Way to get your face out there, and in front of Swasey no
less. I applaud. You've got my vote if I remember to vote, or more realistically if I
stumble upon the page where you vote, on that particular day. And for my first request
from student government: Could you please look into the ethics of Dr. Knobel to have his
little two shit dog walked by Sodexho workers while he is out gallivanting and
schmoozing. Not two hours ago, at 1:30 in the PM on Saturday did I witness Dr. Knobel
leave his premises, what I believe to be a free estate provided by the University.
Subsequently, I witnessed a Sodexho worker walking his dog, watching it shit on the
student housing lawn next door. Can you, student government, address this? Isn't this
wrong, somehow, someway? I can't imagine we pay into the Sodexho corporation, ludicrous
sums I might add, to provide dog walking service for our President. Misappropriation of
funds perhaps? Non contracted work, some may say. Others might suggest just poor taste.
Regardless, can we have someone look with a scrutinizing eye towards the practices of
Sodexho and those who hire them. I mean, Sodexho is only providing us with FOOD. That
we HAVE to buy as dictated by our administration. That we'll pay interest on sense we're
all, well nearly all, going to be in debt upon leaving this institution.
So maybe can we get this College's shit together? Just a little bit, can you help us
Jerome? Or Harry? Or whoever else has a charming grin they want to slap on a poster.
peter zimmer
8678
the past about their responsibilities or potential in changing Denison. But I will give
a resounding "Goddamn" to Mr. Jerome Price. His campaign is top notch. Great posters,
sir. Strategic placement. Way to get your face out there, and in front of Swasey no
less. I applaud. You've got my vote if I remember to vote, or more realistically if I
stumble upon the page where you vote, on that particular day. And for my first request
from student government: Could you please look into the ethics of Dr. Knobel to have his
little two shit dog walked by Sodexho workers while he is out gallivanting and
schmoozing. Not two hours ago, at 1:30 in the PM on Saturday did I witness Dr. Knobel
leave his premises, what I believe to be a free estate provided by the University.
Subsequently, I witnessed a Sodexho worker walking his dog, watching it shit on the
student housing lawn next door. Can you, student government, address this? Isn't this
wrong, somehow, someway? I can't imagine we pay into the Sodexho corporation, ludicrous
sums I might add, to provide dog walking service for our President. Misappropriation of
funds perhaps? Non contracted work, some may say. Others might suggest just poor taste.
Regardless, can we have someone look with a scrutinizing eye towards the practices of
Sodexho and those who hire them. I mean, Sodexho is only providing us with FOOD. That
we HAVE to buy as dictated by our administration. That we'll pay interest on sense we're
all, well nearly all, going to be in debt upon leaving this institution.
So maybe can we get this College's shit together? Just a little bit, can you help us
Jerome? Or Harry? Or whoever else has a charming grin they want to slap on a poster.
peter zimmer
8678
Wine is Tasty
Dear Slayter box # 7318,
I am indeed looking forward to Thanksgiving break. But for several different reasons than
you. You know, the whole break from classes thing...? Or eating a shit ton of turkey?
Yeah, that kind of thing.
Now, thank you so much for bravely announcing all of your grievances with this school. I
mean, anonymous submissions truly show that you are not only a whiny bitch, but a whiny
bitch with BALLS OF FUCKING STEEL.
Let's review why you hate this school: the lack of parties. I don't know about you, but I
didn't come to Denison for the party scene. I came here because of the excellent academic
program. If that means that I have to settle with drinking casually with my friends, so
be it. Might I remind you that you chose to attend this school? If you're looking for
"real" college parties, then get the fuck off of the campus. Go to Ohio State. Drink
yourself stupid. Have fun with that. But just stop fucking whining. Honestly.
Erin Mulhern
I am indeed looking forward to Thanksgiving break. But for several different reasons than
you. You know, the whole break from classes thing...? Or eating a shit ton of turkey?
Yeah, that kind of thing.
Now, thank you so much for bravely announcing all of your grievances with this school. I
mean, anonymous submissions truly show that you are not only a whiny bitch, but a whiny
bitch with BALLS OF FUCKING STEEL.
Let's review why you hate this school: the lack of parties. I don't know about you, but I
didn't come to Denison for the party scene. I came here because of the excellent academic
program. If that means that I have to settle with drinking casually with my friends, so
be it. Might I remind you that you chose to attend this school? If you're looking for
"real" college parties, then get the fuck off of the campus. Go to Ohio State. Drink
yourself stupid. Have fun with that. But just stop fucking whining. Honestly.
Erin Mulhern
POV
Dear 7318,
If you don't like it here, transfer to a state school like OSU or PSU. Once you arrive, be prepared for some wild parties! Set in some dirty senior's off- campus house, there will be a hundred people you don't know. Then, wade through the throngs of bros and bras to find the keg. Upon discovery of the college holy grail, one must jostle for position. Not only will some large, awkwardly drunk man pump the keg and pour you a small solo cup of mostly foam, but he will charge you five or ten bucks to use said cup. As you and your friends realize, it is literally impossible to get drunk or interact with anyone at a state school party. On your 30 minute walk home, prepare to be heckled by REAL police, not security, and risk getting in legal trouble instead of a slap on the wrist. Now that's one awesome night.
(If you haven't learned by now, your friends from home probably embellish a little bit about how awesome their weekends are).
Or, you could party at Denison and interact with smaller groups of people you know. You can broaden your social horizons instead of going to a different near-condemned house every weekend. Oh, and you can actually get drunk, too!
- Cupé Fiasco
7547
If you don't like it here, transfer to a state school like OSU or PSU. Once you arrive, be prepared for some wild parties! Set in some dirty senior's off- campus house, there will be a hundred people you don't know. Then, wade through the throngs of bros and bras to find the keg. Upon discovery of the college holy grail, one must jostle for position. Not only will some large, awkwardly drunk man pump the keg and pour you a small solo cup of mostly foam, but he will charge you five or ten bucks to use said cup. As you and your friends realize, it is literally impossible to get drunk or interact with anyone at a state school party. On your 30 minute walk home, prepare to be heckled by REAL police, not security, and risk getting in legal trouble instead of a slap on the wrist. Now that's one awesome night.
(If you haven't learned by now, your friends from home probably embellish a little bit about how awesome their weekends are).
Or, you could party at Denison and interact with smaller groups of people you know. You can broaden your social horizons instead of going to a different near-condemned house every weekend. Oh, and you can actually get drunk, too!
- Cupé Fiasco
7547
You Can Buy Lappys for 400? Oh.
To the library circulation desk (and those accomplished folk who proudly stand behind the
materials security system, admiring their handiwork):
I'm not sure what a Nixon-era book burglar STOP system and a $400 Toshiba laptop have in
common, but if I had to guess, I'd assume that the speed dating between the two ranks
somewhere below Cupid.com's standards. In fact, I'd place those two on Craigslist--no
pictures please.
But alas, it remains that half of the time I walk out the library, my Toshiba sets off
the BOOKKIDNAPSTOP PRO 2000, which had to have been engineered by a five-year old
tripping acid. This magnetic marvel functions always to ensure that Denison students
aren't walking out with books and CD's that have not been checked out and thus
magnetically "deactivated", nevermind the fact that it makes much more sense to insert a
given CD into any computer and rip the files, allowing one to "steal" the content without
having the worry about scratching the fucking disk. And that nobody gives enough of a
shit about books to actually steal them. But I digress. I'm really looking forward to
the next several semesters of being frisked, until the person in charge of handing me my
laptop drops it on the ground and smashes the shit out of it. Then I'll be able to check
one out from the library.
-7427
materials security system, admiring their handiwork):
I'm not sure what a Nixon-era book burglar STOP system and a $400 Toshiba laptop have in
common, but if I had to guess, I'd assume that the speed dating between the two ranks
somewhere below Cupid.com's standards. In fact, I'd place those two on Craigslist--no
pictures please.
But alas, it remains that half of the time I walk out the library, my Toshiba sets off
the BOOKKIDNAPSTOP PRO 2000, which had to have been engineered by a five-year old
tripping acid. This magnetic marvel functions always to ensure that Denison students
aren't walking out with books and CD's that have not been checked out and thus
magnetically "deactivated", nevermind the fact that it makes much more sense to insert a
given CD into any computer and rip the files, allowing one to "steal" the content without
having the worry about scratching the fucking disk. And that nobody gives enough of a
shit about books to actually steal them. But I digress. I'm really looking forward to
the next several semesters of being frisked, until the person in charge of handing me my
laptop drops it on the ground and smashes the shit out of it. Then I'll be able to check
one out from the library.
-7427
Flashing. Lights. Flashing. Lights.
Thanksgiving break is approaching. Lots of cool stuff happens over break, but the best
thing about it is when you get to see all your friends from home. It's awesome when they
tell you how much fun they're having at college. Then you realize how lame the little
clusterfuck get togethers here are. You realize that though you are smarter than your
state school friends, your idea of a party has fallen to the low level of a few dudes in
button ups doing a dance they practiced all week to the melody of Lady Gaga. You realize
you really had sex with that girl/guy, and that somehow you have been brainwashed by this
school to think they were attractive. You realize you never went to a sporting event
drunk after a morning of tailgating. You realize you never went to a sporting event
period. You realize that your friends' party houses cost half the price of your double in
east quad. You realize that your friends supply their party houses with beer money that
did not have to go towards an overpriced mealplan. You realize that ninety percent of the
bros here have never been to a real college party. You realize that none of those bros
have ever got the shit kicked out of them at a real college party for being douchers. You
realize that this school is literally the only place in the universe where Denny the
security guard has any power. You realize this is literally the only place in the
universe where Denny the security guard is able to talk to girls. You realize that the
quality of your meal depends on whether or not the cooks have had their meth. FUCK. I
hope everyone is looking forward to break as much as I am.
7318
thing about it is when you get to see all your friends from home. It's awesome when they
tell you how much fun they're having at college. Then you realize how lame the little
clusterfuck get togethers here are. You realize that though you are smarter than your
state school friends, your idea of a party has fallen to the low level of a few dudes in
button ups doing a dance they practiced all week to the melody of Lady Gaga. You realize
you really had sex with that girl/guy, and that somehow you have been brainwashed by this
school to think they were attractive. You realize you never went to a sporting event
drunk after a morning of tailgating. You realize you never went to a sporting event
period. You realize that your friends' party houses cost half the price of your double in
east quad. You realize that your friends supply their party houses with beer money that
did not have to go towards an overpriced mealplan. You realize that ninety percent of the
bros here have never been to a real college party. You realize that none of those bros
have ever got the shit kicked out of them at a real college party for being douchers. You
realize that this school is literally the only place in the universe where Denny the
security guard has any power. You realize this is literally the only place in the
universe where Denny the security guard is able to talk to girls. You realize that the
quality of your meal depends on whether or not the cooks have had their meth. FUCK. I
hope everyone is looking forward to break as much as I am.
7318
I Hooked My N64 Into the Wall. I Saw Red.
Dear Percy,
I, too, have been struck down by my own green shells in the final moments of an exhilarating race. In fact, just the other night I was partaking in the Star Cup when a similar demise fell upon me. It was the first race, Wario Stadium, and I was leading the pack going into the third lap. The competition was fierce and Peach was hot on my tail the entire race. I came across the last set of magical question marks and I was blessed with a trifecta of green defense/attack. As I made the final turn I saw Peach going in for the kill and I had to something to shut her down. I attempted to pull a varsity move and shoot my shells at the wall as I made the turn hoping they would reflect and strike her off my tail. However, my angle was off and instead they went shooting down into the final alley turning it into a gauntlet of ricocheting hell. I'm tearing down the final stretch, Peach all over my ass and about to pass, when it happened. My own shells had betrayed me. It took an excruciatingly long 4 seconds to be able to race again and I ended in 5th, earning no points...and no respect.
condolences,
Jimmy
7348
I, too, have been struck down by my own green shells in the final moments of an exhilarating race. In fact, just the other night I was partaking in the Star Cup when a similar demise fell upon me. It was the first race, Wario Stadium, and I was leading the pack going into the third lap. The competition was fierce and Peach was hot on my tail the entire race. I came across the last set of magical question marks and I was blessed with a trifecta of green defense/attack. As I made the final turn I saw Peach going in for the kill and I had to something to shut her down. I attempted to pull a varsity move and shoot my shells at the wall as I made the turn hoping they would reflect and strike her off my tail. However, my angle was off and instead they went shooting down into the final alley turning it into a gauntlet of ricocheting hell. I'm tearing down the final stretch, Peach all over my ass and about to pass, when it happened. My own shells had betrayed me. It took an excruciatingly long 4 seconds to be able to race again and I ended in 5th, earning no points...and no respect.
condolences,
Jimmy
7348
Class Registration = NIGHTMARE.
So...it's 12:24 in the morning and I just found out that as an econ major, I didn't get
into any of the electives I was planning to take next semester, which are essential to me
graduating on time. The same thing happened to my roommate and two other friends, all of
whom are econ majors too. We're all juniors, so you would think (going on probability)
that at least ONE of us would get into a class. But you know, THIS SCHOOL has decided
that for one of its most popular majors, it is only going to hold 6 electives in the econ
department, equating to about 120 students, out of 2048 students total on campus. Should
I blame the amount of freshmen that were let in this year? Should I blame the amount of
people who want to be econ majors? No, it's not really any of those people's faults. It's
really a concept that a school that is so highly praised for its economics department
should understand: supply and demand. So, why Denison? Why am I here paying far more at
this institution than I would at a state one, and not able to get into any of the classes
I need to get the opportunities YOU promised me? I'd really like to know. And I'm sure
there are plenty of other people who would like to know why they can't get into their
classes either. Your supply is not meeting your demand...so fucking step it up. And try
not to screw me out of the education you promised me would be such a glowing addition to
my resume three years ago on my tour.
Your Soon-to-be-an-OWU-Student,
Alexandra Rose
Dance/Economics Double Major
Junior Dance Fellow
Denison University 2011
rose_a@denison.edu
Slayter Box #8833
BLOG EDITOR NOTE: Obviously she plays Soul Calibre.
into any of the electives I was planning to take next semester, which are essential to me
graduating on time. The same thing happened to my roommate and two other friends, all of
whom are econ majors too. We're all juniors, so you would think (going on probability)
that at least ONE of us would get into a class. But you know, THIS SCHOOL has decided
that for one of its most popular majors, it is only going to hold 6 electives in the econ
department, equating to about 120 students, out of 2048 students total on campus. Should
I blame the amount of freshmen that were let in this year? Should I blame the amount of
people who want to be econ majors? No, it's not really any of those people's faults. It's
really a concept that a school that is so highly praised for its economics department
should understand: supply and demand. So, why Denison? Why am I here paying far more at
this institution than I would at a state one, and not able to get into any of the classes
I need to get the opportunities YOU promised me? I'd really like to know. And I'm sure
there are plenty of other people who would like to know why they can't get into their
classes either. Your supply is not meeting your demand...so fucking step it up. And try
not to screw me out of the education you promised me would be such a glowing addition to
my resume three years ago on my tour.
Your Soon-to-be-an-OWU-Student,
Alexandra Rose
Dance/Economics Double Major
Junior Dance Fellow
Denison University 2011
rose_a@denison.edu
Slayter Box #8833
BLOG EDITOR NOTE: Obviously she plays Soul Calibre.
Dear Denison Community,
Recently I was playing one of my favorite past time games and noticed something which you should all be aware of. During the last race of Flower Cup of the ever famous game Mario Kart (the original), I was leading the race coming up to the finish line when I decided to shoot the rest of my green shells for fun. Little did I know/predict that the green shells would simply bounce of the wall, allow me to catch up with them, and then strike me. This unforeseen circumstance cost me first place, and as you can imagine I was quite upset. Ever since this episode I have been considering just how those green shells got me and come across the following explanation courtesy of www.graphjam.com. May this be a guide to everyone you engages in one of the greatest games ever created.
Love,
Percy
Slayter 8826
Recently I was playing one of my favorite past time games and noticed something which you should all be aware of. During the last race of Flower Cup of the ever famous game Mario Kart (the original), I was leading the race coming up to the finish line when I decided to shoot the rest of my green shells for fun. Little did I know/predict that the green shells would simply bounce of the wall, allow me to catch up with them, and then strike me. This unforeseen circumstance cost me first place, and as you can imagine I was quite upset. Ever since this episode I have been considering just how those green shells got me and come across the following explanation courtesy of www.graphjam.com. May this be a guide to everyone you engages in one of the greatest games ever created.
Love,
Percy
Slayter 8826
Rollin' Like A King
Dear Person on South Quad (Who Probably Lives in King),
I'm really sorry that no one was able to drive you from the art building to your dorm, I
hope you made it safely on my bike.
And by this I mean: fuck you, try walking.
Anyway, thanks for nothing, hope you don't miss my bike. Rather, I don't care if you miss
my bike. Because it's mine.
Thanks for making my Sunday night good for a few minutes,
Alex
I'm really sorry that no one was able to drive you from the art building to your dorm, I
hope you made it safely on my bike.
And by this I mean: fuck you, try walking.
Anyway, thanks for nothing, hope you don't miss my bike. Rather, I don't care if you miss
my bike. Because it's mine.
Thanks for making my Sunday night good for a few minutes,
Alex
Hail the Chief
Fellow Denisonians,
As many of you may have already heard, I have been elected to serve as the President of
the Denison Campus Governance Association. After a long and arduous campaign against
three of the most qualified, passionate, and dedicated members of my class, the student
body selected me to lead them through the year 2010.
On the table are a great variety of issues: dining, diversity, communication,
sustainability, residential policy, identity, resources, and more. To tackle these issues
effectively, I will need passionate and dedicated students to participate in the student
Senate as well as in committees that address these issues. I have said before that I
would not have come this far without the students’ support; I must also say that, without
continued support, I will not be able to go as far as I would like to go.
So to first years, sophomores, and juniors: I am asking you to consider running for the
Senate. Not only is participating in the Senate superb leadership experience, but it will
allow you to help make real change on campus. With enough students willing to see
improvements on Denison's campus, I am certain that little that is unattainable.
There will be an information meeting tonight at 8:00pm in the Shepardson Room on the
fourth floor of Slayter Union. There is no commitment to running if you attend, but you
will have the option of asking former representatives or me questions about student
government. Campaigning begins tomorrow, and elections will be on Tuesday, November 17th.
If you have any questions about elections and cannot make tonight’s meeting, please do
not hesitate in contacting Elections Chair Lauren Waters (waters_l@denison.edu) or me
(brisso_h@denison.edu) so we can address them.
See you at Senate,
Your Representative,
Eric "Harry" Brisson
DCGA Senator, Class of 2011
DCGA President-Elect
Slayter Box 8908
As many of you may have already heard, I have been elected to serve as the President of
the Denison Campus Governance Association. After a long and arduous campaign against
three of the most qualified, passionate, and dedicated members of my class, the student
body selected me to lead them through the year 2010.
On the table are a great variety of issues: dining, diversity, communication,
sustainability, residential policy, identity, resources, and more. To tackle these issues
effectively, I will need passionate and dedicated students to participate in the student
Senate as well as in committees that address these issues. I have said before that I
would not have come this far without the students’ support; I must also say that, without
continued support, I will not be able to go as far as I would like to go.
So to first years, sophomores, and juniors: I am asking you to consider running for the
Senate. Not only is participating in the Senate superb leadership experience, but it will
allow you to help make real change on campus. With enough students willing to see
improvements on Denison's campus, I am certain that little that is unattainable.
There will be an information meeting tonight at 8:00pm in the Shepardson Room on the
fourth floor of Slayter Union. There is no commitment to running if you attend, but you
will have the option of asking former representatives or me questions about student
government. Campaigning begins tomorrow, and elections will be on Tuesday, November 17th.
If you have any questions about elections and cannot make tonight’s meeting, please do
not hesitate in contacting Elections Chair Lauren Waters (waters_l@denison.edu) or me
(brisso_h@denison.edu) so we can address them.
See you at Senate,
Your Representative,
Eric "Harry" Brisson
DCGA Senator, Class of 2011
DCGA President-Elect
Slayter Box 8908
Lovely Ladies
Dear Blacked Out in Lower Elm,
We apologize that your "fuckhole" has been violated, and we understand that you're upset,
but we must regretfully inform you that you are being robbed. If we were attending an
expensive, private Liberal Arts University just to ogle boobs and found ourselves
deprived of them, we too would be irate. In order to cut costs, we recommend staying at
home with mommy and jerking off to porn in the basement. Just imagine! 24 hour access to
the perfect girls for you: the kind with no self esteem or knowledge of your existence!
Plus, this way you don't run the risk of fumbling around for a drunk, flaccid, penis from
beneath your sweaty, flabby, beer-gut and disappointing the lucky lady who is drunk
enough to be having sex with you. Before we read of your crippling dilemma, we were under
the impression that Denison was a prestigious academic institution dedicated to ridding
the world of ignorance. How foolish we were! We too are now deeply concerned about the
future of our University. To think that here we are, studying and leading fulfilling and
independent lives as women, while poor souls like yourself are desperately searching for
a drunken crevice in which to insert their tiny penis...
Will there ever be justice? We can only hope.
Our Deepest Condolences,
Liza Hudock and Samantha Driver
P.S. Before you accuse womens' vaginas of smelling bad, keep in mind that a paunchy boy's
body odor combined with sweat and beer can in fact cause his penis to emit quite a putrid
stench. After all, people say that nasty shit smells like "dick" for a reason.
We apologize that your "fuckhole" has been violated, and we understand that you're upset,
but we must regretfully inform you that you are being robbed. If we were attending an
expensive, private Liberal Arts University just to ogle boobs and found ourselves
deprived of them, we too would be irate. In order to cut costs, we recommend staying at
home with mommy and jerking off to porn in the basement. Just imagine! 24 hour access to
the perfect girls for you: the kind with no self esteem or knowledge of your existence!
Plus, this way you don't run the risk of fumbling around for a drunk, flaccid, penis from
beneath your sweaty, flabby, beer-gut and disappointing the lucky lady who is drunk
enough to be having sex with you. Before we read of your crippling dilemma, we were under
the impression that Denison was a prestigious academic institution dedicated to ridding
the world of ignorance. How foolish we were! We too are now deeply concerned about the
future of our University. To think that here we are, studying and leading fulfilling and
independent lives as women, while poor souls like yourself are desperately searching for
a drunken crevice in which to insert their tiny penis...
Will there ever be justice? We can only hope.
Our Deepest Condolences,
Liza Hudock and Samantha Driver
P.S. Before you accuse womens' vaginas of smelling bad, keep in mind that a paunchy boy's
body odor combined with sweat and beer can in fact cause his penis to emit quite a putrid
stench. After all, people say that nasty shit smells like "dick" for a reason.
...
WANTED: NUBILE VIRGINS FOR SATANIC RITUAL/ POST-RITUAL FESTIVITIES. MUST PASS HEALTH
EXAM AND PROVIDE CHARACTER REFERENCES.
Excellent pay and health benefits.
Many different positions available.
Please direct inquiries to Mike Shirar at: shirar_m@denison.edu
EXAM AND PROVIDE CHARACTER REFERENCES.
Excellent pay and health benefits.
Many different positions available.
Please direct inquiries to Mike Shirar at: shirar_m@denison.edu
Can You Feel the Love Tonight?
Dear Blacked Out in Lower Elm,
The "Dear Bullsheet" letter on Tuesday, like all of the "Dear Bullsheet" letters, was
fake. As in, made up by the editor as a joke. The person whose vaginal odor you were
whiffing does not actually exist.
Glad you got all that off your chest, though.
-Kaitlyn Grissom, Sophomore Editor
The "Dear Bullsheet" letter on Tuesday, like all of the "Dear Bullsheet" letters, was
fake. As in, made up by the editor as a joke. The person whose vaginal odor you were
whiffing does not actually exist.
Glad you got all that off your chest, though.
-Kaitlyn Grissom, Sophomore Editor
Redaction
I would like to extend an apology to the owner of Slayter Box 7408 for the submission that was printed yesterday, November 5th. Until this point in time we have trusted the student body to provide an accurate Slayter Box number if they do not want their name signed at the bottom of their submission. This is just a matter of ownership of your words and opinions. As managing editor I take full responsibility for the lack of ownership taken with the submission signed with Slayter Box 7408 since the author of the submission to "Listless in Lower Elm" did not choose to take ownership. The reason why "Listless in Lower Elm" didn't have a name or Slayter Box attached is because it was an entry created by editor Kaitlyn Grissom. The Bullsheet is trying out a new editing style including something called "Ask Bull" and we figured it would be clear that they were made-up articles by the nature of their (lack of) signature. I am sorry it was not clear. In the future we will be researching Slayter Box numbers to ensure this never happens again.
My sincerest apologies, Laura Masters, Managing Editor
My sincerest apologies, Laura Masters, Managing Editor
Rebuttal
Hey peeps,
I am writing in response to the recent submissions concerning Sodexo and the ongoing debate on dining choices and options at Slayter.
As one of many students who go to this school thanks to scholarships, and who is wary of where my money goes in terms of the meal plan, I can surely speak for others and say that this issue is of immediate concern to me.
Although I don’t necessarily back Ben Leatherman in terms of his outlook on DCGA, or his communist-geared suggestions on how to improve the dining situation (although humorous), I did appreciate his recognition of the fact that several other universities offer dining options that are 24-7, and the fact that prices are all the more reasonable. I also appreciate his research in finding out that our situation is not necessarily the fault of Sodexo.
This is where I get brutally honest. I was APPALLED by the response submitted by an unnamed “Sedexo” staff member, who actually spelled “S-o-d-e-x-o” with the incorrect spelling. I was more appalled, however, by their blatantly ignorant assumptions about the Denison student body.
Judging by the fact that the spelling and grammar in the submission was as equally heinous as their logic, I’ll break this down nice and simple:
1. BUY A DICTIONARY. “Witch” does not equal “which.” You work at “Slayter”, not “Slater”-- it says so on the building. You send a “fax” electronically, but I think you meant to use “facts”, although your argument was so clouded I could be mistaken. I could go on, but even as an English major I would have taken no offense to these errors, had your arguments themselves not been so misguided.
2. I am willing to admit that MANY, if not MOST students are off spending MOST, if not ALL of their money on beer and getting drunk. However, THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO ALL STUDENTS, AND TO ASSUME SO IS OFFENSIVE. I am not alone in saying that I pay for part of my tuition, as well as hold a second job in order to provide myself with spending money that doesn’t come from my parents. (So yes, I have a “real job”, as you called it.) And guess what? I spend that money on food. Even food at SLAYTER. Even more appalling is that I don’t party every weekend. Shocking, I know. And I can, without a doubt, attest to knowing dozens of other students with the same lifestyle.
Can I also add that if I were your employer, and observed you writing in a student-run newsletter, accusing students of “masturbating to pin-ups of girls in slutty outfits”, that I would probably have you fired immediately for your disgusting lack of professionalism? Please don’t damage the image of the Slayter employees who ARE kind, friendly, and above all, value their jobs.
3. I will admit that parts of Ben Leatherman’s argument could be construed as offensive. I can understand how the idea of hiring executive chefs could not only be considered insulting, but very expensive. However, your logic is flawed. You said that “parents would have to pay over 125,000.00 dollars in tuition.” Assuming that the increase is going toward the dining hall, we are assuming that the cost of tuition would increase by 80,000.00 per student, meaning the school would receive an extra $160,000,000.00. Just for Slayter’s dining staff. Does that sound right to you?
Anyway, those were my biggest problems with your argument. As I see it, you needed to get YOUR facts straight about the student body before you start making gross judgments about the kind of people we are. I assure you that you probably know as much about our personal lives as we know about yours, and I can speak for myself and many others in saying that we’ve shown nothing but respect for Slayter and its staff. As much as I have always, and wish to continue to put my support behind the Slayter staff, your response to Ben Leatherman will do nothing but to widen the gap between Slayter employees and the student body.
Bravo.
-Kara Lemarie
#8889
I am writing in response to the recent submissions concerning Sodexo and the ongoing debate on dining choices and options at Slayter.
As one of many students who go to this school thanks to scholarships, and who is wary of where my money goes in terms of the meal plan, I can surely speak for others and say that this issue is of immediate concern to me.
Although I don’t necessarily back Ben Leatherman in terms of his outlook on DCGA, or his communist-geared suggestions on how to improve the dining situation (although humorous), I did appreciate his recognition of the fact that several other universities offer dining options that are 24-7, and the fact that prices are all the more reasonable. I also appreciate his research in finding out that our situation is not necessarily the fault of Sodexo.
This is where I get brutally honest. I was APPALLED by the response submitted by an unnamed “Sedexo” staff member, who actually spelled “S-o-d-e-x-o” with the incorrect spelling. I was more appalled, however, by their blatantly ignorant assumptions about the Denison student body.
Judging by the fact that the spelling and grammar in the submission was as equally heinous as their logic, I’ll break this down nice and simple:
1. BUY A DICTIONARY. “Witch” does not equal “which.” You work at “Slayter”, not “Slater”-- it says so on the building. You send a “fax” electronically, but I think you meant to use “facts”, although your argument was so clouded I could be mistaken. I could go on, but even as an English major I would have taken no offense to these errors, had your arguments themselves not been so misguided.
2. I am willing to admit that MANY, if not MOST students are off spending MOST, if not ALL of their money on beer and getting drunk. However, THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO ALL STUDENTS, AND TO ASSUME SO IS OFFENSIVE. I am not alone in saying that I pay for part of my tuition, as well as hold a second job in order to provide myself with spending money that doesn’t come from my parents. (So yes, I have a “real job”, as you called it.) And guess what? I spend that money on food. Even food at SLAYTER. Even more appalling is that I don’t party every weekend. Shocking, I know. And I can, without a doubt, attest to knowing dozens of other students with the same lifestyle.
Can I also add that if I were your employer, and observed you writing in a student-run newsletter, accusing students of “masturbating to pin-ups of girls in slutty outfits”, that I would probably have you fired immediately for your disgusting lack of professionalism? Please don’t damage the image of the Slayter employees who ARE kind, friendly, and above all, value their jobs.
3. I will admit that parts of Ben Leatherman’s argument could be construed as offensive. I can understand how the idea of hiring executive chefs could not only be considered insulting, but very expensive. However, your logic is flawed. You said that “parents would have to pay over 125,000.00 dollars in tuition.” Assuming that the increase is going toward the dining hall, we are assuming that the cost of tuition would increase by 80,000.00 per student, meaning the school would receive an extra $160,000,000.00. Just for Slayter’s dining staff. Does that sound right to you?
Anyway, those were my biggest problems with your argument. As I see it, you needed to get YOUR facts straight about the student body before you start making gross judgments about the kind of people we are. I assure you that you probably know as much about our personal lives as we know about yours, and I can speak for myself and many others in saying that we’ve shown nothing but respect for Slayter and its staff. As much as I have always, and wish to continue to put my support behind the Slayter staff, your response to Ben Leatherman will do nothing but to widen the gap between Slayter employees and the student body.
Bravo.
-Kara Lemarie
#8889
Bulls Make Mistakes All the Time. Red is Good.
Dear Bullsheet,
Thank you for endorsing “all” of the candidates in the Thursday publication in such a mature fashion. It was so nice to see “everyone” represented. I really appreciated being able to see “all” of their platforms in one place. Because of your article, I was able to pick the best candidate for DCGA President and Vice President when I went to mydenison. The only weird thing is that when I went to vote, Sibylle was listed as a candidate but she wasn’t even mentioned in that segment of yours. That’s weird. I guess your definition of all is different than mine. I do hope that our definition of rude is similar.
-Becky Tyson
Thank you for endorsing “all” of the candidates in the Thursday publication in such a mature fashion. It was so nice to see “everyone” represented. I really appreciated being able to see “all” of their platforms in one place. Because of your article, I was able to pick the best candidate for DCGA President and Vice President when I went to mydenison. The only weird thing is that when I went to vote, Sibylle was listed as a candidate but she wasn’t even mentioned in that segment of yours. That’s weird. I guess your definition of all is different than mine. I do hope that our definition of rude is similar.
-Becky Tyson
Delivery Angels!
Dear Ben "no one cares that your birthday is on Monday" Leatherman,
I would like you to know that I do indeed care very much that your birthday is on Monday.
November 9th is quite possibly the greatest of all the days in the year to have a
birthday.
Sincerely,
Lia "my birthday is on Monday too. We should party" Crosby
I would like you to know that I do indeed care very much that your birthday is on Monday.
November 9th is quite possibly the greatest of all the days in the year to have a
birthday.
Sincerely,
Lia "my birthday is on Monday too. We should party" Crosby
I Like to Spell Wrods
Well i must admit that as a member of the Slater staff,I like to read the Bull Sheet everyday. But i must allso admit to getting tired of hearing the STUPID JUVINILE comments about Slater Snack Bar and the rest of Sedexo. Not to point any fingers or say any name.........BEN''I NEED A LIFE AND SOME REAL WORLD EXPERIENCE'' LEATHERMAN...You need to get your fax straight before you run your mouth.
1.The prices at Slater are not set by the management they are set by the corporate office. Then agin if students where not off spending all the money on Beer and getting drunk they might have money to eat there.
2.Also if the students where not steeling about 1,000.00 of our inventory a month the prices would probley be less.
3.And the comment about bring in some ''execetive chefs'' that would cast Sedexo and Denison University 13,900.00 dollars a day to just pay us. Witch would mean your parents would have to pay over 125,000.00 dollars in tuition.
4.Untill you have a real job and not one you get because you are a student...Real job=Where you have to pay Rent,insurence on a car the your parents did not buy or give you,electric,gas,water and anything outher than bear and pin ups of girls in slutty outfits that you masterbate to. Then talk about have us removed and have ''competent individuals'' replace us.
So now that i have said what i had to say...since every thing has allways be one sided and no one from Sedexo has come forth to put the record straight...i will sign off.
Sedexo Staff M.T.P.
1.The prices at Slater are not set by the management they are set by the corporate office. Then agin if students where not off spending all the money on Beer and getting drunk they might have money to eat there.
2.Also if the students where not steeling about 1,000.00 of our inventory a month the prices would probley be less.
3.And the comment about bring in some ''execetive chefs'' that would cast Sedexo and Denison University 13,900.00 dollars a day to just pay us. Witch would mean your parents would have to pay over 125,000.00 dollars in tuition.
4.Untill you have a real job and not one you get because you are a student...Real job=Where you have to pay Rent,insurence on a car the your parents did not buy or give you,electric,gas,water and anything outher than bear and pin ups of girls in slutty outfits that you masterbate to. Then talk about have us removed and have ''competent individuals'' replace us.
So now that i have said what i had to say...since every thing has allways be one sided and no one from Sedexo has come forth to put the record straight...i will sign off.
Sedexo Staff M.T.P.
Anger Is Good...?
Listen, something needs to be said.
First of all, to the listless members of Lower Elm, the fact that girls are dressing as “whores” for Halloween is something we all need to embrace. Maybe this freshman class wants to experience real college. Have you ever been to a Halloween at a big school? After Saturday, we feel like there is hope for the future of Denison. Quit sulking over your dried up 40 year old cunt that, lets be honest, nobody wants to see or smell. We apologize that you will never be wanted by men, and your personality is as dry and unattractive as your vagina (drink to witty comment). We are pumped that girls are partying. Your vocabulary is as impressive as your dating record. I’d want to kill myself too if my life consisted of was writing into the Bullsheet about Halloween costumes. Its fucking Halloween, assholes, take off your turtlenecks and mind your own fuckhole.
And to security. Sorry for partying? Getting off to midnight party break-ups is something we are all “irate” about. Just fuck off. Seriously. Come at 1am like you’re supposed to, even though 1am is a ridiculous rule. We are absolutely crippled by that. What? Nobody wants to drink after 1am, my grandparents drink until 1am (drink to witty comment). We are not trying to prove anything, just that Denison is a fucking boarding school. You don’t have a quota assholes, you don’t get a paycheck for writing people up and breaking up parties, and you definitely don’t get respect for calling GPD to handle a party in one dorm. Thanks for making this shit social school even shittier, fuckers.
Truth,
- Blacked Out in Lower Elm AKA 7408.
First of all, to the listless members of Lower Elm, the fact that girls are dressing as “whores” for Halloween is something we all need to embrace. Maybe this freshman class wants to experience real college. Have you ever been to a Halloween at a big school? After Saturday, we feel like there is hope for the future of Denison. Quit sulking over your dried up 40 year old cunt that, lets be honest, nobody wants to see or smell. We apologize that you will never be wanted by men, and your personality is as dry and unattractive as your vagina (drink to witty comment). We are pumped that girls are partying. Your vocabulary is as impressive as your dating record. I’d want to kill myself too if my life consisted of was writing into the Bullsheet about Halloween costumes. Its fucking Halloween, assholes, take off your turtlenecks and mind your own fuckhole.
And to security. Sorry for partying? Getting off to midnight party break-ups is something we are all “irate” about. Just fuck off. Seriously. Come at 1am like you’re supposed to, even though 1am is a ridiculous rule. We are absolutely crippled by that. What? Nobody wants to drink after 1am, my grandparents drink until 1am (drink to witty comment). We are not trying to prove anything, just that Denison is a fucking boarding school. You don’t have a quota assholes, you don’t get a paycheck for writing people up and breaking up parties, and you definitely don’t get respect for calling GPD to handle a party in one dorm. Thanks for making this shit social school even shittier, fuckers.
Truth,
- Blacked Out in Lower Elm AKA 7408.
Free Pizza
Hey Denison,
It is no secret that today's world is wildly unequal. We tend to take for granted the simple necessities of life, such as food, shelter, and access to water and education. Yet it seems as if most of us are completely unaware of the enormous amount that our fellow human beings lack access to some - if not all - of these necessities. Nearly a billion people came into the the 21st century without the ability to read a book or sign their own names. Another 1.1 billion people in developing countries have inadequate access to water, while 2.6 billion lack basic sanitation. And almost half of the world - over three billion people - live on less than $2.50 a day. Last time I checked, you couldn't even get a PB&J from Slayter for that much money.
When academics start throwing the word 'billion' around, facts like the ones above become difficult to comprehend, so let me put this in perspective: if every single adult and child in the U.S. were illiterate, they would still only represent a third of the world's illiterate population. And the amount of people who die due to poverty every day (25,000) would wipe out a dozen colleges the size of Denison.
This naturally leads the concerned citizen to ask why these enormous inequities exist, how they can be fixed, and whether or not richer nations even have a moral obligation to help. If you want to engage in a discussion about the economic aid and international development necessary to solve some of the world's problems, I invite you to join the Roosevelt Institute this Friday for a conversation with economist Dr. Fadhel Kaboub, who will present a talk entitled "The Economics of Life with Dignity: Rethinking Economic Development" at 3:30 PM in Burton Morgan 218. Pizza will be served.
-Jason Cox
It is no secret that today's world is wildly unequal. We tend to take for granted the simple necessities of life, such as food, shelter, and access to water and education. Yet it seems as if most of us are completely unaware of the enormous amount that our fellow human beings lack access to some - if not all - of these necessities. Nearly a billion people came into the the 21st century without the ability to read a book or sign their own names. Another 1.1 billion people in developing countries have inadequate access to water, while 2.6 billion lack basic sanitation. And almost half of the world - over three billion people - live on less than $2.50 a day. Last time I checked, you couldn't even get a PB&J from Slayter for that much money.
When academics start throwing the word 'billion' around, facts like the ones above become difficult to comprehend, so let me put this in perspective: if every single adult and child in the U.S. were illiterate, they would still only represent a third of the world's illiterate population. And the amount of people who die due to poverty every day (25,000) would wipe out a dozen colleges the size of Denison.
This naturally leads the concerned citizen to ask why these enormous inequities exist, how they can be fixed, and whether or not richer nations even have a moral obligation to help. If you want to engage in a discussion about the economic aid and international development necessary to solve some of the world's problems, I invite you to join the Roosevelt Institute this Friday for a conversation with economist Dr. Fadhel Kaboub, who will present a talk entitled "The Economics of Life with Dignity: Rethinking Economic Development" at 3:30 PM in Burton Morgan 218. Pizza will be served.
-Jason Cox
I Like the Shape
Dear Denison:
LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS
It seems that an alarming number of Denison students are either blissfully unaware of this simple truth or else remain unfazed in their determination to leave EVEN LESS to the imagination when they dress themselves in the morning.
Let me explain myself. I am by no means opposed to leggings as garments. They are wonderfully versatile articles of clothing that afford the owner a wide variety of possibilities, both fashionable and utilitarian. That said, they are meant to play a supplementary role in the overall wardrobe. For example, leggings can be worn under athletic shorts when exercising in the winter, or under a skirt on a brisk day. They can even be worn as part of a dressy ensemble if you have a formal obligation, but are concerned about low temperatures.
The only time it is acceptable to wear leggings alone (that I can think of) is when involved in some kind of dance rehearsal or performance. Exceptions can also be made for small children, who have naturally had fewer opportunities to hone their young sense of what is and is not socially acceptable.
In conclusion, the exact shape of your ass is kind of like a secret, and you probably shouldn’t be sharing it with everyone. Think of leggings as the clothing equivalent of a sidekick. Would you send Robin to fight crime without Batman? Would you send Clark to explore the Louisiana Territory without Lewis? Or tell Cheney to run the White House without Dubya? (oops). If you answered no to these two questions, don’t go to class half dressed. If you answered yes to either of them, you are clearly stubborn enough to be beyond all aid.
Nicco Pandolfi
LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS
It seems that an alarming number of Denison students are either blissfully unaware of this simple truth or else remain unfazed in their determination to leave EVEN LESS to the imagination when they dress themselves in the morning.
Let me explain myself. I am by no means opposed to leggings as garments. They are wonderfully versatile articles of clothing that afford the owner a wide variety of possibilities, both fashionable and utilitarian. That said, they are meant to play a supplementary role in the overall wardrobe. For example, leggings can be worn under athletic shorts when exercising in the winter, or under a skirt on a brisk day. They can even be worn as part of a dressy ensemble if you have a formal obligation, but are concerned about low temperatures.
The only time it is acceptable to wear leggings alone (that I can think of) is when involved in some kind of dance rehearsal or performance. Exceptions can also be made for small children, who have naturally had fewer opportunities to hone their young sense of what is and is not socially acceptable.
In conclusion, the exact shape of your ass is kind of like a secret, and you probably shouldn’t be sharing it with everyone. Think of leggings as the clothing equivalent of a sidekick. Would you send Robin to fight crime without Batman? Would you send Clark to explore the Louisiana Territory without Lewis? Or tell Cheney to run the White House without Dubya? (oops). If you answered no to these two questions, don’t go to class half dressed. If you answered yes to either of them, you are clearly stubborn enough to be beyond all aid.
Nicco Pandolfi
Siren Love
A Short List of Questions
1. Why can't we take things that are on reserve out overnight? Just because the library
closes at 2 doesn't mean I'm done. Why won't the man just let me take out the noise
canceling head phones for another 6.5 hours? I can't afford these sick head phones on my
own, and regular ear buds just don't have the same affect. I promise I'd return them. If
I didn't you could find me, you know where I live. The lack of noise canceling
head-phones lowers my GPA by leading me to be distracted by the constant Granville
sirens. Which leads me to...
2. Why does GPD use sirens all day every day? I've seen the streets of Granville at night
and they are empty. There is no need to use those sirens. Flashing lights alone at night
can suffice. Also, Granville quiet hours are at 10 pm, why can't they respect their own
ordinances? On the topic of illegality...
3. Why is it not illegal to have this much work while the campus is so beautiful? It
should also be illegal to have access to the internet while having this much work and
this little work ethic. Thats all.
Answers?
Slayter Box 8643
1. Why can't we take things that are on reserve out overnight? Just because the library
closes at 2 doesn't mean I'm done. Why won't the man just let me take out the noise
canceling head phones for another 6.5 hours? I can't afford these sick head phones on my
own, and regular ear buds just don't have the same affect. I promise I'd return them. If
I didn't you could find me, you know where I live. The lack of noise canceling
head-phones lowers my GPA by leading me to be distracted by the constant Granville
sirens. Which leads me to...
2. Why does GPD use sirens all day every day? I've seen the streets of Granville at night
and they are empty. There is no need to use those sirens. Flashing lights alone at night
can suffice. Also, Granville quiet hours are at 10 pm, why can't they respect their own
ordinances? On the topic of illegality...
3. Why is it not illegal to have this much work while the campus is so beautiful? It
should also be illegal to have access to the internet while having this much work and
this little work ethic. Thats all.
Answers?
Slayter Box 8643
BEEP BEEP
Hate of the Day:
Sirens.
WHY DOES G-VILLE PD TURN ON THE SIRENS EVERY HOUR OF THE DAY?!
Are these real emergencies, or do they just want to remind us that they're around?
I can't play loud music on south quad past 10pm, but they are allowed to roam the streets blaring those sirens. Why can't they play something I actually enjoy, like the beats of Pretty Lights, the axe of Jerry Garcia, the blues of B.B. King or the Hilltoppers singing Africa?
Maybe they should just stay home. No one told them to wake up and rage....
- Juliana Kahrs
Sirens.
WHY DOES G-VILLE PD TURN ON THE SIRENS EVERY HOUR OF THE DAY?!
Are these real emergencies, or do they just want to remind us that they're around?
I can't play loud music on south quad past 10pm, but they are allowed to roam the streets blaring those sirens. Why can't they play something I actually enjoy, like the beats of Pretty Lights, the axe of Jerry Garcia, the blues of B.B. King or the Hilltoppers singing Africa?
Maybe they should just stay home. No one told them to wake up and rage....
- Juliana Kahrs
The Dynamic Duo Is Back With More... Advice
Rob and Taylor’s guide to spending your fall break efficiently.
Friday, 10/16/09:
Throw a mis-matched theme party. (ex. Clowns and Vietnam party, Hannah Montana and Hooverville party or lasers and poetry party). Also, the only two alternating songs must be Kurtis Blow’s “The Breaks” and Miley Cyrus’s “Party in the USA”.
Create a POG™ drinking game… too late, we already did. Suck it nerds!
Saturday, 10/17/09:
Camp out under the stars on East Quad.
High-speed chase with either GPD or Denison Security.
Sunday, 10/18/09:
Attend Mass, regardless of religion. Then, complain to the pastor afterwards about his terrible sermon regardless of religion or quality of sermon.
Get so wasted you then think you have class on Monday and begin studying for a class that doesn’t even exist.
Monday, 10/19/09:
Wake up to an 8:30 alarm clock wondering why you set it the night before.
Celebrate National Kel day- mix vodka into a 2-liter bottle of orange soda and walk around with it like Kel used to do.
Place high-stakes bets on old Nickelodeon shows like Legends of the Hidden Temple or Slime Time Live.
Tuesday, 10/20/09:
Go to Granville Elementary School and dominate the fourth graders at tetherball.
Most importantly, study hard and get good grades.
Not.
Love,
Rob and Taylor
Friday, 10/16/09:
Throw a mis-matched theme party. (ex. Clowns and Vietnam party, Hannah Montana and Hooverville party or lasers and poetry party). Also, the only two alternating songs must be Kurtis Blow’s “The Breaks” and Miley Cyrus’s “Party in the USA”.
Create a POG™ drinking game… too late, we already did. Suck it nerds!
Saturday, 10/17/09:
Camp out under the stars on East Quad.
High-speed chase with either GPD or Denison Security.
Sunday, 10/18/09:
Attend Mass, regardless of religion. Then, complain to the pastor afterwards about his terrible sermon regardless of religion or quality of sermon.
Get so wasted you then think you have class on Monday and begin studying for a class that doesn’t even exist.
Monday, 10/19/09:
Wake up to an 8:30 alarm clock wondering why you set it the night before.
Celebrate National Kel day- mix vodka into a 2-liter bottle of orange soda and walk around with it like Kel used to do.
Place high-stakes bets on old Nickelodeon shows like Legends of the Hidden Temple or Slime Time Live.
Tuesday, 10/20/09:
Go to Granville Elementary School and dominate the fourth graders at tetherball.
Most importantly, study hard and get good grades.
Not.
Love,
Rob and Taylor
Creeper Deer
Hey Bullsheet,
Do you take illustrations? If so, here you go. It's about the creeper deer we have
lurking around campus.
- Becky McNeill
Do you take illustrations? If so, here you go. It's about the creeper deer we have
lurking around campus.
- Becky McNeill
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