i woke up at eight for my eight thirty. flip flops are awesome, because mansauce oozed
between the tiles of the shower. i walked to class with my fly unzipped. since it was
trayless tuesday, i could only manage to carry a drink and a plate of "stir fry." orange
mandarin chicken was an exaggeration. shitty rice plus shitty vegetables plus shitty
chicken plus shitty curtissauce. man sauce and curtis sauce.
i learned some more stuff, which allowed me to come even closer to the realization that
no matter how much i know and read i will never have a girlfriend. thought about how hot
some of the freshman girls were, but then made the sad correlation between hot girls and
brofucks. took a nap. perhaps i had dreams. at least i was blissfully unaware of the fact
that my roommate sat a fat pair of arabian goggles on my peacefully closed eyes.
went to "meal exchange." but, since curtis is yet to provide me with a real meal i call
it "shit exchange." one turd for another. paid fifteen cents for extra crackers. ten
cents for water. read thomas pynchon. decided sodexho was somehow taking control of the
world. tired of sodexho, i shit it all out. change of tense. changed of tense. until the
next day.
did some homework. watched some porn. decided to smoke some pot with my "friends." got
caught by denny the ever-vigilant security guard. i am unfamiliar with libel shit so i'm
not sure what i'm allowed to say. this story isn't actually true anyway. bitter. returned
to my room. farted on my roommate's pillow. a skunk skunked skunk skeet right outside my
window. it almost smelled like the weed i got caught smoking. just kidding, i don't smoke
good weed. tomato bath. oedipa maas.
-RL
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