I Shall Pong No More by Hedgehog 7426

After being written up for playing a festive game of beer pong, I have come to more fully understand what my actions mean to those around me, myself, and my community. I cannot express enough how badly I feel that I broke the law and put others around me at risk, and I fully understand that I cannot be caught doing this type of thing again. To ensure that this type of behavior does not happen again, I will refuse to touch unholy substances and liquids to my lips, and I shall strike down upon thee who attempt to harm my community through the unlawful consumption of said unholy substances. Furthermore, I previously refused to fathom the effects beer pong on the community but I am forced to come to terms with three simple facts; 1) pong balls make a lot of noise when you shoot them into cups filled with beer, 2) loud celebrations of shots made disturb those in the community, and thus I must ensure that silence is produced forthright and without disdain for the system, and 3) alcohol is not supposed to be consumed by young people as a form of college socializing at a small private school in Ohio. In terms of my personal habits as they relate to alcohol, I understand that although I was raised European style (I am British) and although the drinking age is 18 everywhere else in the world, Americans are much less fun and I must obey the rules as long as I stay here and attend this wonderful school. State law says I must be 21, and this institution does not allow drinking in dorm rooms. I do not want to get into any kind of trouble, so I shall restrict my beer drinking to when I am in the comfort of my own home. I can assure the school and the administration that I am not the kind of student who has finally gotten to the forbidden fruit of alcohol after years of stone cold sobriety, and therefore I don’t binge drink until I puke like many other kids at this school who were brought up without ever touching the stuff. I’m educated and responsible, and I don’t need to drink because frankly I do not feel that it is anything special. Thus, with this in mind, I can easily refrain from breaking the rules again and intend to do so as long as I am at this institution. Thank you.

The Hedgehog, 7426