Karl Rove was here!

So I saw Karl Rove tonight/last night. And while I’m sure there will be a slurry of submissions about the famed political strategist, he spoke after 6:30 so no one could submit anything so I get the upper hand! The evening began with theatrics galore, an enshrouded Mr. Rove emerging from a pit of fire and fog in the middle of the stage. Oddly enough, I noticed what a soft, marshmallowy, piglety type of creature he was. Until he ate an iguana tail first. After that it was pretty much down to business. I’m one of those audience members who think he talked a lot, but didn’t say very much. I did enjoy hearing him mention that Democrats and Republicans alike should address the issues they aren’t comfortable addressing, and should do so with "passion, fluency, and conviction." And, if nothing else, that putrid mass of infinite evil has those three qualities going for him. While I vehemently oppose most, if not everything, the man does and has done, he (it?) is a talented speaker and brilliant strategist. It cannot be denied. I’m reminded of that old saying, "You can’t polish a turd." Well, this guy polished George W. Bush, one of the biggest turds there will ever be. There’s something to be said for that.

Stray thoughts while watching Mr. Rove:

-"Why does he need two water bottles? And why isn’t he drinking them?"
-"Toby Jones should play him in a movie!"
-"Las Vegas isn’t one of your favorite parts of the world? How can you live with yourself, sir?"
-"Hm, you’re probably right. Creating a stimulus based on false premises is a bad idea. False premises should be reserved to base wars."
-"Goddamn right we should be applauding the National Endowment for the Arts."
-"Hey! He just mentioned Democratic Peace Theory! I know what that is!"
-"Actually, I did really hate Hitler’s mustache and bad painting. Have you seen those paintings? They’re terrible. No wonder the man was so angry. Ugh, and that mustache..."
-"Hehe, he just said ‘my nutty buddy’."
-"OH MY GOD WE GET IT YOU HAVE A WEBSITE."
-"OH MY GOD WE GET IT YOU’RE WRITING A BOOK."
-"OH MY GOD WHERE DID YOU GROW UP YOUR ACCENT IS ADORABLE."
-"Seriously, Flocken? You’re gonna stand in front of the dude’s camera? He already has it tough enough. Just look at that mustache. I hate him so much..."
-"Wait. Let me get this straight. You said the Republicans are ‘the party that believes the little guy should get the same break the big guy gets.’ ... That is by far the most outrageous thing you did all evening. And I saw you eat that iguana."

- Nick Bailey, Senior Editor