The Bullsheet

To Jack Hundley, and the assortment of people pissed at Lord Havelock Vetinari, aka Linus Williams,

 

Mr. Hundley, while I approve of and applaud your use of the grand unifying law of the internet (normal person + anonymity + audience = total fuckwad, for those who don’t know), I must agree with Lewis Clark, whose name I totally thought was fake, that Linus shouldn’t get owned by the world here. Linus wasn’t anonymous, for one. Using either a name, email, or slayter box, you can find a person’s room number, year, full name, slayter box, and email on the Denison directory, which is located under the “Denison Info” tab in myDenison. I am always surprised by how few people know about this. Therefore, putting up his real slayter box # under a false name still gave you enough information to find who he really was, and he wasn’t being anonymous at all. So yes, he is “claiming his farts”. Even at 14(15?), he is showing some capacity to claim his flatulence as his own.

 

Additionally, Linus is yet too young to realize that he has to tuck in and hide his balls and pussy-foot around our politically and socially sensitive campus atmosphere before airing his opinions, or else risk getting put on probation for airing anything remotely close to an admission of pride in whatever Caucasian heritage he has. God forbid he think college might be the one place he can say something incendiary and have it analyzed by somebody with a sense of humor and a nose for sniffing out the principles espoused within, without having to entirely risk his job/friends/reputation. Yeah, Ok, so he even targeted a group by saying “Non-Black” instead of “White”. It was scathing satire. He was expressing his thoughts through a method more poignant than saying “I disagree with you”. Why be a dick about it, you ask? Because making fun of people tends to goad them into showing their true colors, and Linus wanted to see if the BSU was really being fair-minded about this, or was on something more akin to a self-serving defensive power-trip. They are currently in an uproar about his submission, to the point of trying to get him in disciplinary trouble, so you tell me which category they fit themselves into. It could have easily been dealt with the way Jack Hundley dealt with it, by saying, “You’re a dick, and trying to piss people off, go away”. Don’t feed the trolls if you don’t want them around.

 

I find it exceedingly annoying that on this campus, you’re barely even allowed to be hated anymore without someone threatening administrative action. It’s a big, fat mentality of “we’re going to be all lovey-dovey… OR ELSE!”. I guess if you’re the administration, and have a school to build the prestige of, feigning an impossible condition of total tolerance and fairness makes sense. Just keep in mind, severe oppression throughout history often occurs in the name of “love”, “peace”, “fairness” and other such abstract, malleable concepts.

 

Written in the name of Love, Peace, Equality, Fraternity, Happiness, and… umm… more love,

Stas Nogay, Slayter Box 8282.

 

P.S.

To box 8075, which the directory tells me is Miden Wood, the new editor if memory serves, your middle name is awesome. Secondly, including yesterday’s submission, your work continues to be above par, kudos. Third, That “Ignorance Tea” sounds awesome, I’d totally enjoy a fancy party where everyone is being a blatant, unjustified jackass to everyone else. Can I get an invite, too? Hehe, “Melanin Count and Countess Ball”. Fucking brilliant.