The Bullsheet

Bitch bitch bitch…more bullsheet for me… bitch bitch bitch
This is pretty much what the bullsheet has been for the past month or so. IT IS GETTING OLD. Thanks for trying to make a difference and I applaud you for doing so, but do us a favor and go look at fmylife.com for just about five minutes so you can have a better day and hopefully refrain from writing in the bullsheet for just a bit.

Here are some excerpts of what you will find:

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

Today, I went to my boyfriend’s work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, “Just this fat chick I know”. FML

Today, I woke up to my car covered in shaving cream and tampons and the word CHEATER written on my windshield in lipstick. The guy a few doors down from me in my dorm has the same car as me. I'm a virgin. FML

Today, I spent almost my entire English class turned on thinking that the hot girl next to me was playing footsie with me. That is until she stood up and I realized I had been rubbing my foot on her backpack. FML

Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidently sent it to my dad and got a text back saying "You definitely take after your mom". FML

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

Today, at lunch, I read the bullsheet. FML

by

Peter “Michael Phelps Stole my Bong” Wall

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