Turdis by Slayter Box 7318

Efficiency:
I can't say I'm too surprised that Turdis dining hall has raped this word up the butthole
and, in it's arrogant ways, has created a completely incomprehensible translation. Turdis
was surely considering its own version of efficiency when it decided to implement a new,
stricter card swipe policy. Say, god forbid, one forgets their Denison ID due to the fact
that, as a college student, there's a lot of more important shit to remember. Now say
that individual would like to eat lunch. Without a Denison ID they will be thoroughly
fucked.

In order to make it past the black gates of Turdis without an ID, one must fill out a
"DENISON UNIVERSITY Lost Card Voucher," though their card isn't really lost; it's just in
their room and they simply want to eat some shitty food during their thirty minute break
between classes so they won't be hungry for the rest of the day. It only takes one about
ten seconds to fill in the few lines of generic student information. It takes the Turdis
employee, however, between one and five minutes to successfully process this information
into their little computer and explain to the student that this mindfuckingly complicated
process has included the deactivation of their Denison ID. Ok, at least you can get some
food now.

Later, however, the true reality of efficiency slowly materializes as one realizes that
their Denison ID has literally been deactivated and that it can do nothing that it is
supposed to do: It cannot open doors, it cannot check books out, it cannot get meal
exchange (and neither can the card voucher, which renders it practically just as useless
with its sole advantage lying in its ability to access Turdis), and it cannot be
reactivated until one can walk to the Turdis west office during the few hours that the
facility is actually operating.

I guess it just doesn't make a lot of sense, and I wonder if there is any solution
slightly less fuckingly stupid. I can see no benefits of such a convoluted system. A
responsible student may never forget their ID and then there is no problem. Does Turdis
really expect so much, though? We already pay a ridiculous price for its shitty food and
the included overall lackluster experience. It's as if Turdis is punishing one with a
long process of inconveniences for forgetting their ID. Can't one simply provide their ID
number? Honestly, if the place was cooking real food that actually tasted good I could
understand their overprotective tactics, but I don't think many people have a scam in
mind when they show up without their ID. At Denison, the student ID serves many functions
and it seems fucked up that Turdis has the power to deactivate it. If we had separate
meal cards, I would have no problem with the system, but we don't. It is in no way
efficient. The minor inconvenience caused by the student's forgetfulness is in no way
proportional to the amount of time it takes for the Turdis employee to figure their shit
out. A crappy lunch is definitely not more important than all the other benefits a
Denison ID provides.
You can say I'm just bitching, but seriously, what the fuck Turdis?

7318