Mailbag by Rob and Taylor

Rob and Taylor Mailbag: Amongst the waves of fan mail we, Rob and Taylor, have compiled the best of the best.
1. Deer Robb and Tailer,
Wii thinc yu gies arr awesum-lee funnie. Wii all-sew arr vary whornie. Wii thinc yur cuet. Wiill yu go on a dayte width uz?
<@:) Caitlin and K.K.
No. Judging by your spelling errors, which we find amazing with today’s technology, we can safely assume you’re around 7 years old. You’re unattractive and stupid.
Sawry. <@:(
2. Yo Rob and Taylor,
You forgot to mention Bod Man body fragrance and Abercrombie, which is all I ever get (and pussy).
-Chad.
An egregious error on our part, sorry about that Chad Bro-cho cinco. Keep shitting fucks!
3. Hello sir. I am exchange student at Granville High School and was wondering about American humor. I have 35-page essay on American comedy. May it please you to interview you? Thank you, I am humbled.
Yours truly,
Benjamin Washington.
Three words: no fucking way. Where are you from exactly Mr. Washington? I’ve never even heard of it. We don’t have time for your god damn high school bullshit. We have interviews lined up for Time, Country Living, Vogue Knitting International, Estylo and Jugz n’ Gunz.
4. So let me get this straight, you guys write together?
Uhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm………. Yeahhhhhhhhhhh…………….
Love,
Rob and Taylor
(Note: all people aren’t real and are figments of the author’s imagination. We in fact have zero fans.)