Sunday, October 4, 2009

The Spice Girls Paradigm by Holly Burdorff

There has been much talk on campus about that new fraternity thing; at least, my Greek friends were talking about it the other day, and I thought I'd offer my opinion, mostly because they told me to. Also, Alex has a lot of space to fill tonight.

Anyway, the main point of concern appears to be that the creation of a new IFC fraternity will confuse everyone. I don't really understand the source of this confusion, but I think it has something to do with stereotypes: several of the fraternities are hard to differentiate (maybe? i really don't know), so why (i guess?) do they have to create a new one?

(As you can tell, I was not really listening to the conversation; I was merely throwing in unproductive statements until it was time for me to go back home to my bridge.)

As we all know, the IFC sororities at Denison are all very different. This is because, as the 90s told us, there are many, many different kinds of women - 5 whole kinds, in fact! Those five kinds are: Sporty, Scary, Posh, Baby, Ginger. I commonly refer to this as the Spice Girls Paradigm for the Acceptable Varieties of Women. The sororities at Denison represent these 5 Acceptable Varieties (i.e. Theta = Sporty Spice*).

So, to reduce confusion for the fraternities, I propose the creation of a dude paradigm. One possibility would be Pokemon (i.e. Fire, Water, Grass, Electric, Fighting, Poison, Ground, Flying, Psychic, Bug, etc.). As we see, though, there are too many types of Pokemon. Power Rangers, of course, would be our next logical choice, but there are not enough kinds of Power Rangers. My favorite idea is an Aqua Teen Hunger Force paradigm, but there are not enough of them, either. (But a Meatwad-themed fraternity would be fantastic.)

Anyway, you guys can fight it out.

-Holly Burdorff

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