VOTE NOW FOR DENISON MASCOT ON my.denison.edu
Choices?
The Big Red Dinosaurs
The Big Red Dragons
Or
The Big Red Buzzards
Really though what kind of choices are these? Either we vote for the one we always vote
for every year (the buzzards) and still get ignored next year when DCGA decides to run
its mascot campaign again or we vote for the Dragons, the Dinosaurs or something else
that starts with the letter D and can substitute for the Big Red Denison: how about the
Big Red DCGA? That would be perfect...oh wait, way too obvious. With the two
alternatives that face us we may as well call ourselves the Big Red Daycare Center. It
also starts with the holy letter "D" and combines the two choices into one super word:
Daycare. Cause that's where we're going. It's really quite appropriate, I'm sure
security would love it, as well as the sports teams trying to compete. We could even
branch? out and call ourselves the Big Red Dildos, or simply the Big Red Ds.
Since voting for the buzzards will get your vote deleted, as it is the only true
representation of Denison's diversity living on campus as they do (who else has a buzzard
for a mascot) compared to the legions of dragon mascots (who names themselves the
dinosaurs? Oh wait...Barney did) I suggest a write-in mascot that will accommodate
everyone, including DCGA's Big Red Daycare.
So instead when you go online vote for:
The Big Red Playground.
Adam Shaw
9092
Thursday, April 29, 2010
∑X OFFENDED - Posted by JT
Dear Anonymous Editor,
Your "RAPE IS HAPPENING ON THIS CAMPUS" submission was both offensive and a gross
generalization in its nature. Whether you meant to or not, you have perpetrated the male
greek community (with the exception of Beta Theta Pi....) as a direct threat to the
female community. I can only speak on behalf of Sigma Chi, but I feel comfortable in
saying that Fraternities on campus do hold each other and their members accountable for
their actions and no Greek organization stands for such heinous and malicious actions
taken against women (or men).
I appreciate the fact that only 10% of rapes on average are reported. In turn, how
can you allege that the Greek community is involved heavily in the rape incidents, when
there is no information available to confirm this? I am not denying rape happens on
campus, I am simply defending not only my Fraternity, but the Greek community as a whole.
Also, this is not an issue of holding the Greek community to a high standard, but holding
the entire Denison community to a higher standard. It is no less acceptable for a
non-Greek student to act in such a disgraceful manner as it is a member of a Greek
organization.
No one stands for rape. No one. This is an issue that the Denison community needs
to address. In order to do this, we need not single out any community. This is a campus
wide problem, as you have made apparent to me, and I am positive any Greek organization
would be more then willing to aid you and the administration in this process.
Respectively,
Lucas Meyer
#7516
Your "RAPE IS HAPPENING ON THIS CAMPUS" submission was both offensive and a gross
generalization in its nature. Whether you meant to or not, you have perpetrated the male
greek community (with the exception of Beta Theta Pi....) as a direct threat to the
female community. I can only speak on behalf of Sigma Chi, but I feel comfortable in
saying that Fraternities on campus do hold each other and their members accountable for
their actions and no Greek organization stands for such heinous and malicious actions
taken against women (or men).
I appreciate the fact that only 10% of rapes on average are reported. In turn, how
can you allege that the Greek community is involved heavily in the rape incidents, when
there is no information available to confirm this? I am not denying rape happens on
campus, I am simply defending not only my Fraternity, but the Greek community as a whole.
Also, this is not an issue of holding the Greek community to a high standard, but holding
the entire Denison community to a higher standard. It is no less acceptable for a
non-Greek student to act in such a disgraceful manner as it is a member of a Greek
organization.
No one stands for rape. No one. This is an issue that the Denison community needs
to address. In order to do this, we need not single out any community. This is a campus
wide problem, as you have made apparent to me, and I am positive any Greek organization
would be more then willing to aid you and the administration in this process.
Respectively,
Lucas Meyer
#7516
Beat it - Posted By JT
How does "Play that Beat, Mr." - Gangstarr lead to "Spies" - Coldplay in iTunes? Someone. Explain.
- 7350
- 7350
The Parking Lot - Posted by JT
Going Places with Jake: Rape Parking Lot
The girls here at Dension might describe it as "sketch," "suspect," or "creepy-towns."
Regardless of whether or not you choose to defile the English language, it is undeniable
that the strip of parking spaces behind Crawford has its horribly offensive moniker for a
reason. I decided to pound the ground and see how the people, myself included, truly feel
about the area.
Composite Freshman Marissa Ramasamy provided this statement: "Why are you being so weird?
Are you drunk? I don't know... it makes me uncomfortable because I think there are bros
in those trees who totally want to rape me."
After visiting the site myself, I found that everyone should be worried. Crawford parking
lot is dangerous for rapee and raper alike. Sure it's dark and secluded, but pelvic
thrust too hard, and your once secure erotomobile is rolling down the hill. If you
survive the explosion, she's about a two minute jog from the police station. Good luck
chasing the bitch when you can see both your shankbones.
I attempted to get a statement from Michael Scott, figuring he had probably succumbed to
the siren song of violent passion emanating from Rape Parking Lot during his time here.
Unfortunately, I was unable to control myself and ended up reciting a long overdue tirade
about Dan In Real Life, instead. It wasn't pretty:
Get your head off of the fucking pancakes. No, you know what? You rest. I hope they're
scalding hot. I paid $16 to see your contrived emotionality and all I got out out my date
was a boob graze... I was just a KID!!
Scott was able to placate me by pointing out that any feelings of irrational rage were
almost certainly brought on by the existence of Dane Cook and my own and sexual
frustration, not his terrible movie.
Freshman and girl, Kate Kloster, provided this troubled muckraker with peace of mind when
she gave her appraisal of the issue: "What? Now? You want me to say it now? OK... Well, I
feel like you're pretty much just as likely to be raped there as anywhere else on campus."
There you have it, readers. Nowhere is safe.
SCANDAL ROCKS THE DENISONIAN
It has come to light that freelance writer for the school "newspaper," Joe Kenkel, wrote
his review for the iPad without ever even being in the same room as one of the
cutting-edge tablets. Journalistic Integrity. It's not a Denison thing.
I WANNA DIP MY BALLS IN IT!!!
- Jacob Hoffman
The girls here at Dension might describe it as "sketch," "suspect," or "creepy-towns."
Regardless of whether or not you choose to defile the English language, it is undeniable
that the strip of parking spaces behind Crawford has its horribly offensive moniker for a
reason. I decided to pound the ground and see how the people, myself included, truly feel
about the area.
Composite Freshman Marissa Ramasamy provided this statement: "Why are you being so weird?
Are you drunk? I don't know... it makes me uncomfortable because I think there are bros
in those trees who totally want to rape me."
After visiting the site myself, I found that everyone should be worried. Crawford parking
lot is dangerous for rapee and raper alike. Sure it's dark and secluded, but pelvic
thrust too hard, and your once secure erotomobile is rolling down the hill. If you
survive the explosion, she's about a two minute jog from the police station. Good luck
chasing the bitch when you can see both your shankbones.
I attempted to get a statement from Michael Scott, figuring he had probably succumbed to
the siren song of violent passion emanating from Rape Parking Lot during his time here.
Unfortunately, I was unable to control myself and ended up reciting a long overdue tirade
about Dan In Real Life, instead. It wasn't pretty:
Get your head off of the fucking pancakes. No, you know what? You rest. I hope they're
scalding hot. I paid $16 to see your contrived emotionality and all I got out out my date
was a boob graze... I was just a KID!!
Scott was able to placate me by pointing out that any feelings of irrational rage were
almost certainly brought on by the existence of Dane Cook and my own and sexual
frustration, not his terrible movie.
Freshman and girl, Kate Kloster, provided this troubled muckraker with peace of mind when
she gave her appraisal of the issue: "What? Now? You want me to say it now? OK... Well, I
feel like you're pretty much just as likely to be raped there as anywhere else on campus."
There you have it, readers. Nowhere is safe.
SCANDAL ROCKS THE DENISONIAN
It has come to light that freelance writer for the school "newspaper," Joe Kenkel, wrote
his review for the iPad without ever even being in the same room as one of the
cutting-edge tablets. Journalistic Integrity. It's not a Denison thing.
I WANNA DIP MY BALLS IN IT!!!
- Jacob Hoffman
Monday, April 19, 2010
DFS Presents... - Posted by JT
Sprockets and sprocketholes alike!
When you were a child, did you ever have one of those cardboard pipes filled with mirrors
and when you looked through them they turned the world into a million shapes and colors?
Did you ever have one of them kaleidoscopes? Well, this weekend DFS will shatter your
world into a million shapes and colors with our crazy double-feature combo in
collaboration with Red Tech.
First, on Friday night at 8:30, we will pose the question, when is Woody Harrelson not a
motherfucking badass? I mean, Woody jesus-christ Harrelson. Now add zombies. Did I just
hear five hundred little minds being blown? Now add humor. Add a guy who looks and acts
like Michael Cera but is not Michael Cera. Add a post-apocalyptic world. Add unlikely
bromance. Add wit. Add that girl who that other guy in Superbad wants to hook up with.
Add great editing and Bill Murray. Add Bill Murray's mansion. Put it in a box and shake
it all around, and there you have it: Zombieland. In a pile. In Slayter auditorium.
After we've brought you with us down to the hell that is zombie-ridden earth, we will
bring you back up. Way up. Way Up in the Air. In this potentially bathetic (that's
melodramatic for you non-English majors) romantic drama comedy, George Clooney is George
Clooney. But he is also the person who companies hire when they need to fire people. And
he is really good at it. This means that he flies. A lot. All over the US. In fact, he
flies so much he is almost eligible to become an elite member (and I mean over-the-top
elite, I mean member card in solid gold elite, no kidding, solid gold) of this American
Airline(s) that will remained unnamed. While at an airport bar, he meets this woman who
also flies a lot, not as much as Clooney, but a lot, and they hook up. What follows is a
complicated relationship based off of flight schedules and layovers, and then more things
happen and things get more complicated and George Clooney is George Clooney, but I won't
give it all away just yet. Instead, come to Slayter auditorium. Or stay in Slayter
auditorium if you just watched Zombieland. Because that's how awesome we are. We, your
friends at the DFS.
In conclusion (aaaah senior research syndrome),
Zombieland at 8:30 on Friday (tomorrow),
Up in the Air tomorrow at 10:30 and Saturday at 7:30,
all in Slayter auditorium, all on the big screen, all in glorious 35mm (except
Zombieland, which is a DVD, but that's a whole other story),
all for ZERO DOLLARS!
Up in the Air is NOT bathetic,
Christoffer "my mother always told me, some day, you'll be good at something" Strömstedt
PS. For those of you who might have heard that the screening of Zombieland is supposed to
be outdoors, the 80% chance of thunderstorm tomorrow night took the fun away from that.
It'll be inside. In our beloved student union. But don't let that deter you. There'll
still be Woody motherfucking Harrelson.
- Denison Film Society & Red Tech
When you were a child, did you ever have one of those cardboard pipes filled with mirrors
and when you looked through them they turned the world into a million shapes and colors?
Did you ever have one of them kaleidoscopes? Well, this weekend DFS will shatter your
world into a million shapes and colors with our crazy double-feature combo in
collaboration with Red Tech.
First, on Friday night at 8:30, we will pose the question, when is Woody Harrelson not a
motherfucking badass? I mean, Woody jesus-christ Harrelson. Now add zombies. Did I just
hear five hundred little minds being blown? Now add humor. Add a guy who looks and acts
like Michael Cera but is not Michael Cera. Add a post-apocalyptic world. Add unlikely
bromance. Add wit. Add that girl who that other guy in Superbad wants to hook up with.
Add great editing and Bill Murray. Add Bill Murray's mansion. Put it in a box and shake
it all around, and there you have it: Zombieland. In a pile. In Slayter auditorium.
After we've brought you with us down to the hell that is zombie-ridden earth, we will
bring you back up. Way up. Way Up in the Air. In this potentially bathetic (that's
melodramatic for you non-English majors) romantic drama comedy, George Clooney is George
Clooney. But he is also the person who companies hire when they need to fire people. And
he is really good at it. This means that he flies. A lot. All over the US. In fact, he
flies so much he is almost eligible to become an elite member (and I mean over-the-top
elite, I mean member card in solid gold elite, no kidding, solid gold) of this American
Airline(s) that will remained unnamed. While at an airport bar, he meets this woman who
also flies a lot, not as much as Clooney, but a lot, and they hook up. What follows is a
complicated relationship based off of flight schedules and layovers, and then more things
happen and things get more complicated and George Clooney is George Clooney, but I won't
give it all away just yet. Instead, come to Slayter auditorium. Or stay in Slayter
auditorium if you just watched Zombieland. Because that's how awesome we are. We, your
friends at the DFS.
In conclusion (aaaah senior research syndrome),
Zombieland at 8:30 on Friday (tomorrow),
Up in the Air tomorrow at 10:30 and Saturday at 7:30,
all in Slayter auditorium, all on the big screen, all in glorious 35mm (except
Zombieland, which is a DVD, but that's a whole other story),
all for ZERO DOLLARS!
Up in the Air is NOT bathetic,
Christoffer "my mother always told me, some day, you'll be good at something" Strömstedt
PS. For those of you who might have heard that the screening of Zombieland is supposed to
be outdoors, the 80% chance of thunderstorm tomorrow night took the fun away from that.
It'll be inside. In our beloved student union. But don't let that deter you. There'll
still be Woody motherfucking Harrelson.
- Denison Film Society & Red Tech
DBAGS @ Denison??
Denison junior winfield buckington was caught and detained by Denison Security early Tuesday morning for shattering the back door of Shepardson Hall with his fist. McPolo, from Bridgeport Connecticut, is believed to be a member of the elusive Door-Breaking Alliance of Granville (D-BAG), a secret campus organization bent on de-dooring the campus, one portal at a time. So far the D-BAG has claimed responsibility for the shattering of seven doors this semester.
McPolo, a member of D-BAG since the second semester of his freshman year, explained to Denison Security that the door was "talking shit" and "being a fucking pussy." When asked about the nature of the shit-talking, McPolo inquired "Don't you know who my fucking dad is?" Unaware of McPolo's fucking ancestral roots, a Denison Security Guard promptly notified the Granville Police to detain McPolo and conduct a background check. Upon arrival to campus, veteran officer John "Arresting Students on the" Daly arrested and escorted McPolo to the Granville Jail, which apparently actually exists. The officer also wrote McPolo a parking citation for good measure, and later obtained a search warrant for McPolo's six-man in Sawyer. The investigation of the six-man led the officers to find evidence of his D-BAG membership, including a D-BAG handbook.
A complete transcript of the D-BAG handbook is still unavailable at this point because, oddly enough, it was written in Greek. However, a rudimentary translation of the D-BAG handbook's introduction was obtained by the Bullsheet's resident Greek language expert:
"From Shorney to Shannon, from the Homestead to Herrick, Down with glass doors!" reads the introduction, "By smashing doors we shall " The manifesto further explains that their glass-breaking behavior stems from the fact that "there isn't shit to do in Granville" besides destroy communal property. Also depicted in the handbook are photos of boat shoes, expensive cars, and pastel colored collared shirts with upturned collars. It is unclear at this time how these relate to the mission of the D-BAG, though some suspect that upturned-collars and D-BAG membership are closely related.
McPolo is still under investigation by the University, but is expecting to face a life sentence in Granville jail. Denison Vice President of Student Conduct hopes to have McPolo expelled in order to "to clear up some bed space" for a returning student found guilty of domestic abuse last semester.
McPolo, a member of D-BAG since the second semester of his freshman year, explained to Denison Security that the door was "talking shit" and "being a fucking pussy." When asked about the nature of the shit-talking, McPolo inquired "Don't you know who my fucking dad is?" Unaware of McPolo's fucking ancestral roots, a Denison Security Guard promptly notified the Granville Police to detain McPolo and conduct a background check. Upon arrival to campus, veteran officer John "Arresting Students on the" Daly arrested and escorted McPolo to the Granville Jail, which apparently actually exists. The officer also wrote McPolo a parking citation for good measure, and later obtained a search warrant for McPolo's six-man in Sawyer. The investigation of the six-man led the officers to find evidence of his D-BAG membership, including a D-BAG handbook.
A complete transcript of the D-BAG handbook is still unavailable at this point because, oddly enough, it was written in Greek. However, a rudimentary translation of the D-BAG handbook's introduction was obtained by the Bullsheet's resident Greek language expert:
"From Shorney to Shannon, from the Homestead to Herrick, Down with glass doors!" reads the introduction, "By smashing doors we shall " The manifesto further explains that their glass-breaking behavior stems from the fact that "there isn't shit to do in Granville" besides destroy communal property. Also depicted in the handbook are photos of boat shoes, expensive cars, and pastel colored collared shirts with upturned collars. It is unclear at this time how these relate to the mission of the D-BAG, though some suspect that upturned-collars and D-BAG membership are closely related.
McPolo is still under investigation by the University, but is expecting to face a life sentence in Granville jail. Denison Vice President of Student Conduct hopes to have McPolo expelled in order to "to clear up some bed space" for a returning student found guilty of domestic abuse last semester.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Gender-Neutral Bathrooms
We want to open the floor for a discussion about gender-neutral restrooms. Although this is an easily-overlooked issue for most people, the segregation of restrooms based on sex causes confusion, distress and/or frustration for many people. How many times have you really had to go and a long line postponed your relief? Have you ever considered that transgender, transsexual, intersex, gender queer, and other persons who do not fit into the gender binary might face discrimination based their choice of restroom? Have you considered that your restrooms at home are gender-neutral, so why should things be any different at school?
90% of transgender students report feeling unsafe at school because of their gender expression, including their choice of restroom. Many of the restrooms here on Denison’s campus are completely identical and single-occupancy yet are still segregated by sex. By removing gendered spaces on campus we encourage a more diverse student body to attend Denison and promote a more accepting atmosphere.
You may have seen our signs up near restrooms across campus. Our goal is to encourage student/faculty discourse about the nonexistence of gender-neutral restrooms at Denison and in the community at large. Whatever your opinion, whether you agree or disagree or find this a non-issue, we encourage you to express it: write a response in the Bullsheet, join our Facebook event (Gender Neutral Restrooms – Denison University), send us an email (kushne_r@denison.edu), send in a letter (Slayter Box 9185), and most importantly, discuss among your peers.
We will be conducting interviews concerning gender neutral restrooms with students/faculty/members of the community throughout this week and the next—if you would like your opinion to be heard in an academic setting, please consider requesting to be interviewed (through email or Facebook)!
90% of transgender students report feeling unsafe at school because of their gender expression, including their choice of restroom. Many of the restrooms here on Denison’s campus are completely identical and single-occupancy yet are still segregated by sex. By removing gendered spaces on campus we encourage a more diverse student body to attend Denison and promote a more accepting atmosphere.
You may have seen our signs up near restrooms across campus. Our goal is to encourage student/faculty discourse about the nonexistence of gender-neutral restrooms at Denison and in the community at large. Whatever your opinion, whether you agree or disagree or find this a non-issue, we encourage you to express it: write a response in the Bullsheet, join our Facebook event (Gender Neutral Restrooms – Denison University), send us an email (kushne_r@denison.edu), send in a letter (Slayter Box 9185), and most importantly, discuss among your peers.
We will be conducting interviews concerning gender neutral restrooms with students/faculty/members of the community throughout this week and the next—if you would like your opinion to be heard in an academic setting, please consider requesting to be interviewed (through email or Facebook)!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
