Dan "Dining Hall Dan" Fleckner talked to me about a week ago and said that he'd like to meet and discuss some of the things he'd read in the Bullsheet and on this blog. Now, for your reading pleasure: the highlights of my lunch with Dan.
1. Dan Fleckner quote of the day: "I love it when students complain about food. It means everything else is right with the world."
2. Sodexo is working right now on developing a menu for next semester. A sign has been posted on the comment board in Curtis for a few weeks, and responses have been scarce. So, if there's something specific you'd like to see, fill out those comment cards! Quick! You only have four days!
3. Whenever Curtis puts out organic fruit with no sign labeling it as such, the comment box is flooded with complaints about the quality of the fruit. It's important to note that apples can either be crispy and shiny, or they can be organic, but they can't be both.
4. Warning: Due to nationwide lettuce crop crisis, we're about to see a decline in the quailty of the greens at the salad bar. It's not Sodexo's fault.
5. Sodexo has no rules about what dining halls can serve, except for when they do those "Flash in the Pan" ethnic food exhibitions. So all the food being served right now is the result of managerial efforts to give students what they want. But they can't do that if you don't fill out comment cards, so WRITE WRITE WRITE!
6. FUN FACT: Dan is Jewish, and used to work for a minor league baseball team. Who knew.
7. Many of the issues brought up in the comment cards can be solved with a little culinary creativity. For example: if you're upset by the lack of chocolate soy milk, make your own with regular soy milk and chocolate sauce from the ice cream bar. Or if there's no cheese at the salad bar, ask for a slice from the deli and put that on your salad.
8. PERSONAL NOTE: One of my favorite creative dining hall concoctions is the Pita Pizza. Take a piece of pita bread from the toaster area, spread hummus on it, at top it off with whatever looks good on the stir-fry and salad bars.
9. The University, not Sodexo, is responsible for the decision to require students to be on meal plans. Some people to talk to about this: Becky Macheda and Seth Patton.
10. Many students request healthier food via the comment box. Apparently, when Dan asks for specific menu items, he frequently met with responses like "buffalo wings" and "fried chicken fingers." Hmm.
11. Dan readily concedes that the typical student meal (he indicates my plate of ravioli and salad) is not worth $7.50. But Sodexo only gets about half of that money. The rest goes to the University to cover dining hall overhead expenses like gas, utilities, equipment, and backup generators.
12. Serving Cheeseburger Pizza and Pizza Burgers on the same day has been recognized as an inexcusable crime against the culinary world, and will be henceforth forbidden.
13. At the Sodexo focus group meeting, I harped a lot on the theme of groceries. Dan said that he was concerned about these items not being popular enough to justify keeping them in stock, especially since vegetables and baking needs are so perishable. BUT - and here's where I get excited - If you contact Dan, he will work out a deal where you can swipe your meal card in exchange for bulk food and baking ingredients from the dining hall stockroom!
14. About the whole religious food thing: A lot of the food served at the Hannukah dinner was from Dan's family recipes. Both the Hannukah Dinner and the Holiday Meal were meant as horizon-broadening cultural shindigs. The food served at the Holiday Meal was a combination of traditional Christmas, Hannukah, Ramadan, and Kwanza recipes. The idea behind using the word "holiday" instead of "Christmas" was not to be politically correct, but to be accurate. After all, the meal was not actually a Christmas meal, but a hodgepodge of different holiday dishes.
15. If you have ideas about dining hall reform, Dan encourages you to talk to him. Email flecknerd@denison.edu.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Sunglass Kidz by Rob and Taylor
While all you bitches were chillin’ out, maxin’ relaxin’ all cool during break, Rob and Taylor were attempting to puke in Denny’s cute rain boots), we stumbled upon this security report, detailing one of the newest and most sexual gangs on campus.
ALERT: WARNING!!! A new gang has been reported on campus, a group calling themselves the Sunglass Kidz. They are easily spots in order to intimidate potential students and to recruit them at the same time (if they’re not “pussies”). They are known for crimes such as under-age drinking, smoking cigarettes in bars, and for forging those little ␣ they forge those. That’s ingenious.
what we are most concerned about is the crimes that they force their new recruits to commit (as their gang mot to states “you have to sin to get in”), such as marking new territory, pushing heroin and other recreational drugs on the streets of Granville, and doing drive-bys of rival gangs, such as the equally dangerous Granville Blue Aces. The gang is led by two street toughs, Richard “Dick” Ryder and Thomas “Thom” Thompson. “Dick” is known his short temper, which explodes all over any innocent bystander. “Thom” is known for his shoes. If any of you see this gang, shoot to kill. Aim for the head, so they get shot there.
Well, fuck. It’s up to us to defend these young gentlemen against the equally dangerous security guard
gang.
Love, Rob and Taylor
P.S. Hey Denny, I hope this makes it onto Bob’s locker! And fuck yo boots!
ALERT: WARNING!!! A new gang has been reported on campus, a group calling themselves the Sunglass Kidz. They are easily spots in order to intimidate potential students and to recruit them at the same time (if they’re not “pussies”). They are known for crimes such as under-age drinking, smoking cigarettes in bars, and for forging those little ␣ they forge those. That’s ingenious.
what we are most concerned about is the crimes that they force their new recruits to commit (as their gang mot to states “you have to sin to get in”), such as marking new territory, pushing heroin and other recreational drugs on the streets of Granville, and doing drive-bys of rival gangs, such as the equally dangerous Granville Blue Aces. The gang is led by two street toughs, Richard “Dick” Ryder and Thomas “Thom” Thompson. “Dick” is known his short temper, which explodes all over any innocent bystander. “Thom” is known for his shoes. If any of you see this gang, shoot to kill. Aim for the head, so they get shot there.
Well, fuck. It’s up to us to defend these young gentlemen against the equally dangerous security guard
gang.
Love, Rob and Taylor
P.S. Hey Denny, I hope this makes it onto Bob’s locker! And fuck yo boots!
Bathroom Stall Posters by Slayter Box 9118
When, exactly, was it determined that the best forum to communicate rape statistics is in each and every stall in each and every women’s bathroom in each and every academic building on campus? When, exactly, was it decided that girls should not be able to pop a squat without a bulleted list of how many women are raped in the Congo each year? I can understand statistics about sexual health, and I’ll even go as far as to say that posting contacts for the SHARE program is appropriate, but I’m not sure why this is a valid outlet (outhouse?) ␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣ ␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣ ␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣␣ targeted at the campus’s ladies.
So here’s what we get every time we pee... 1) practice safe sex, because STD’s are bad, 2) if the worst hap- pens, here’s who to call for help, and 3) even if the worst happens, be thankful that you weren’t sold into a prostitution ring in another country by your older sister and raped 7-10 times daily until you contracted HIV/ AIDS and died waiting to be deported.
Call me insensitive, but I feel that caring about these women and what they’ve gone through does not mean pasting their stories all over bathroom stalls. So I’m asking the heads of this organization –if you intend on turning every women’s stall on this campus into your forum, please consider what this campaign is actually meant to accomplish, and if the current course of action is effective. If you’re trying to spread information, then why is it only getting to the women?
Since the only other information on these sheets is the e-mail address for the organization, it seems to me that the purpose is to boost enrolment in the group, and I’m calling those responsible out for being massively insensitive. There are several organizations on this campus that are related to human interest –habitat for humanity, students for choice, or the roosevelt institute just to name a few. I suggest that DIRE consider more appropriate methods of communication.
~~~ Slayter Box = 9118
So here’s what we get every time we pee... 1) practice safe sex, because STD’s are bad, 2) if the worst hap- pens, here’s who to call for help, and 3) even if the worst happens, be thankful that you weren’t sold into a prostitution ring in another country by your older sister and raped 7-10 times daily until you contracted HIV/ AIDS and died waiting to be deported.
Call me insensitive, but I feel that caring about these women and what they’ve gone through does not mean pasting their stories all over bathroom stalls. So I’m asking the heads of this organization –if you intend on turning every women’s stall on this campus into your forum, please consider what this campaign is actually meant to accomplish, and if the current course of action is effective. If you’re trying to spread information, then why is it only getting to the women?
Since the only other information on these sheets is the e-mail address for the organization, it seems to me that the purpose is to boost enrolment in the group, and I’m calling those responsible out for being massively insensitive. There are several organizations on this campus that are related to human interest –habitat for humanity, students for choice, or the roosevelt institute just to name a few. I suggest that DIRE consider more appropriate methods of communication.
~~~ Slayter Box = 9118
Overheard at Denison
Overheard at Denison:
“Heh heh! You’re a faggot!”
-An audience member during the DFS screening of Inglorious Basterds. Yelled at the head Nazi character when he does that high-pitched giggle bit. Any history buffs want to raise your hand and tell me why this is depressing?
“Heh heh! You’re a faggot!”
-An audience member during the DFS screening of Inglorious Basterds. Yelled at the head Nazi character when he does that high-pitched giggle bit. Any history buffs want to raise your hand and tell me why this is depressing?
Lady Gaga Harmful to Young Girls’ Self-Esteem
by Kaitlyn Grissom, Sophomore Editor
Amy Long, mother of sixth-grade Julie, is worried that her daughter may have an unhealthy self-image due to her new obsession with Lady Gaga. Says Long, “Julie used to be like any other girl her age: shopping, hanging out with her friends, and crying because she thinks she’s fat. But now something’s...different. She just walks around in her latex leotard and tries to light things on fire with her mind.”
Like thousands of girls across the country, Julie thinks that she must be just like her idol in order to be attractive. “There’s this boy in my class named Carl. He’s sooooooo cute. But he only likes girls with aluminum-plated prosthetic hip sockets. It’s like he doesn’t even know I exist,” says Julie as she stares into the mirror, trying unsuccessfully to get blood to ooze from her eyeballs. “Dammit! I never do anything right!”
The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty has responded to this disturbing trend with new messages of hope and acceptance. Says Dove spokeswoman Andrea Andrews, “We want girls to know that you can be beautiful no matter your weight, body type, number of limbs, extraterrestrial networking options, or diamond-levitating abilities.”
Gaga herself was unavailable for comment, as she had absconded to her arctic lair with a 400-gallon bottle of imported vodka.
by Kaitlyn Grissom, Sophomore Editor
Amy Long, mother of sixth-grade Julie, is worried that her daughter may have an unhealthy self-image due to her new obsession with Lady Gaga. Says Long, “Julie used to be like any other girl her age: shopping, hanging out with her friends, and crying because she thinks she’s fat. But now something’s...different. She just walks around in her latex leotard and tries to light things on fire with her mind.”
Like thousands of girls across the country, Julie thinks that she must be just like her idol in order to be attractive. “There’s this boy in my class named Carl. He’s sooooooo cute. But he only likes girls with aluminum-plated prosthetic hip sockets. It’s like he doesn’t even know I exist,” says Julie as she stares into the mirror, trying unsuccessfully to get blood to ooze from her eyeballs. “Dammit! I never do anything right!”
The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty has responded to this disturbing trend with new messages of hope and acceptance. Says Dove spokeswoman Andrea Andrews, “We want girls to know that you can be beautiful no matter your weight, body type, number of limbs, extraterrestrial networking options, or diamond-levitating abilities.”
Gaga herself was unavailable for comment, as she had absconded to her arctic lair with a 400-gallon bottle of imported vodka.
Signing Off by Sam Forti
Signing off~ This will be my final bullsheet for the time being as I will be far away from here next
semester. You’re all so goddamn beautiful it makes me want to cry. Try not to miss me to much. I know
Denison will have a gaping hole in its heart without my presence here but it will be okay, really, it will. Don’t
worry, Jason Cox will be taking my place as resident Sam Forti on Denison’s campus. If you need me for
anything, please, refer yourself to him during the spring semester.
~Sam Forti
semester. You’re all so goddamn beautiful it makes me want to cry. Try not to miss me to much. I know
Denison will have a gaping hole in its heart without my presence here but it will be okay, really, it will. Don’t
worry, Jason Cox will be taking my place as resident Sam Forti on Denison’s campus. If you need me for
anything, please, refer yourself to him during the spring semester.
~Sam Forti
Getting You Through Exam Week by Sam Forti
First a fantastic quote by some girl on east quad: “I wouldn’t be caught dead playing water polo topless with
him!”
Now a quip about your mother’s weight- Your mother is so fat that when she went into the kitchen there was
a meatloaf on the counter but when she left there wasn’t a meatloaf on the counter anymore because she ate
because your mom is fat.
So, its the end of the school, and as such, some of you may feel like you are about to die. The
work load is piling on, crushing you and crushing you like one of those torture devices where they put rocks
on a board on your chest till you say, “Fuck!” and confess to being a witch or a heathen or something of the
sort.
It sucks, yes it does, the stress is overwhelming, you are doubting your academic abilities, and you find
yourself blinding pushing forward into a murky gloom of flashcards, lab reports, research papers, and
unintentional naps in strange places around A-quad.
Well don’t worry so much! I am here to help, and when have I ever let you down before Denison? Here
is a little destressing activity that you and your friends can try on each other. This is what you will need:
1. Yourself
2. A friend
3. This bullsheet.
Find a partner and go somewhere where you can be in peace, away from the hustle and bustle of
everyday campus life. Then, lie or sit in a comfortable position. If you wish, bring some delicious tea and or
scented candles! Then close your eyes and take three deep breaths as your friend reads the script below.
Picture yourself free from final exams. With everybreath let the weight of your gpa drop away. Let it
go, just relaxxx. Now, you are floating. Floating on a beautiful cloud. It is fluffy and oh so soft, like a bed
made of chinchillas. On the cloud and around you are beautiful golden birds that sing in heavenly voices.
Take a deep breath, they will sing whatever you want. The Rite of Spring? no problem. Party in the USA?
no problem. Lollipop by lil’ Wayne? They love that number! They will sing whatever you want. Picture them
singing you your favorite song. There is a tray of gourmet cheese, there are doughnuts a plenty, you can have
whatever you’d like on this little sky island of peace. You are filled with happy thoughts, you are at peace with
the world, you are at peace with your final exams. Everything will be alright, open your eyes and be free.
In case that didn’t work out for you you can always resort to the usual survival tactics for this time of year.
Snorting adderall off the library toilets
Injecting redbull directly into your eyeball for an instant caffine rush
Saying fuck it, drowning your sorrows in booze and hoping for the best
Crying yourself to sleep at night
Snorting adderall off of your desk
Crying yourself to sleep at night
Snorting adderall off of your lab report
Adderall
Adderall
Adderall
Adderall
Good luck Denison. Try not to kill yourself before the holidays begin.
~~40~~
him!”
Now a quip about your mother’s weight- Your mother is so fat that when she went into the kitchen there was
a meatloaf on the counter but when she left there wasn’t a meatloaf on the counter anymore because she ate
because your mom is fat.
So, its the end of the school, and as such, some of you may feel like you are about to die. The
work load is piling on, crushing you and crushing you like one of those torture devices where they put rocks
on a board on your chest till you say, “Fuck!” and confess to being a witch or a heathen or something of the
sort.
It sucks, yes it does, the stress is overwhelming, you are doubting your academic abilities, and you find
yourself blinding pushing forward into a murky gloom of flashcards, lab reports, research papers, and
unintentional naps in strange places around A-quad.
Well don’t worry so much! I am here to help, and when have I ever let you down before Denison? Here
is a little destressing activity that you and your friends can try on each other. This is what you will need:
1. Yourself
2. A friend
3. This bullsheet.
Find a partner and go somewhere where you can be in peace, away from the hustle and bustle of
everyday campus life. Then, lie or sit in a comfortable position. If you wish, bring some delicious tea and or
scented candles! Then close your eyes and take three deep breaths as your friend reads the script below.
Picture yourself free from final exams. With everybreath let the weight of your gpa drop away. Let it
go, just relaxxx. Now, you are floating. Floating on a beautiful cloud. It is fluffy and oh so soft, like a bed
made of chinchillas. On the cloud and around you are beautiful golden birds that sing in heavenly voices.
Take a deep breath, they will sing whatever you want. The Rite of Spring? no problem. Party in the USA?
no problem. Lollipop by lil’ Wayne? They love that number! They will sing whatever you want. Picture them
singing you your favorite song. There is a tray of gourmet cheese, there are doughnuts a plenty, you can have
whatever you’d like on this little sky island of peace. You are filled with happy thoughts, you are at peace with
the world, you are at peace with your final exams. Everything will be alright, open your eyes and be free.
In case that didn’t work out for you you can always resort to the usual survival tactics for this time of year.
Snorting adderall off the library toilets
Injecting redbull directly into your eyeball for an instant caffine rush
Saying fuck it, drowning your sorrows in booze and hoping for the best
Crying yourself to sleep at night
Snorting adderall off of your desk
Crying yourself to sleep at night
Snorting adderall off of your lab report
Adderall
Adderall
Adderall
Adderall
Good luck Denison. Try not to kill yourself before the holidays begin.
~~40~~
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
